Online Dating 101

To those who are looking for love,

First, I'd like to say thank you for welcoming me to Patch! You can find out more about my past dating life by checking out my bio. But, in a nutshell, I'm just a single gal, looking for Mr. Right in a sea of Mr. Wrongs. After having poor luck with dating in "the real world," I decided to branch out and do something I never thought I would, date online.

It started out of curiosity and has now become somewhat of a hobby. I've been dating gents (or lack thereof) from online dating sites for the last year and a half. Not a sport I wish I had to partake in. I would rather be living happily ever after. But for now, I am on the hunt for "the one."

If you're considering creating an online dating profile, I certainly encourage it. It is nothing to be embarrassed about in this day and age. The Match.com commercials say one out of five relationships start online, right? However, in my 18 months of experience I have seen a pattern of errors being made. If you're going to take the plunge, I want you to keep these tips in mind:

First and foremost, make sure you're ready for this commitment. As I said, it has become almost a hobby of mine. You have to be dedicated to it, with time available to put forth. I suggest being able to check your messages and respond to prospects at least once in the morning and once at night. Otherwise, you will miss opportunities. Think of all the other girls/guys on the site that are your competition. If you don't have the time to write back, the person you're interested in could easily move on to someone else they have had more interaction with. That is how my current situation came about. I was messaging with a gentleman who caught my attention. Due to his schedule, I was lucky to hear from him once a day. In the meantime, the guy I am now currently seeing and getting to know was messaging me more vigorously. Therefore, I was able to learn more about him, and my interest shifted. The other guy missed out (for now)!

Make it clear what you're looking for. As in, casual dating, a serious relationship, new friends..whatever it may be. You don't want to get into the situation I have many times. While I am looking for something serious, I meet a guy, start to develop feelings, only to find out he just wants to date around, see multiple people. Making sure there is an understanding of what someone wants can not only save time, but a lot of emotions in the end.

Use the best pictures of yourself, and a variety. I suggest using a minimum of three pictures, but more is always best. A variety is important, a close up of your face, as well as a full body picture is necessary. With the full body shot not only are you getting an idea of someones weight, but you can also get a sense of what their style of dress is. For me, if a guy is a good dresser, he get's extra "points!" Don't use goofy pictures of yourself. I have seen so many times where a guy has their tongue sticking out, or is flicking off the camera. You might think it makes you look "fun," but for someone who doesn't know you yet it appears immature and as though you aren't serious. And please, for crying out loud, use recent pictures! It isn't going to do either party any favors if when you meet in person you're actually heavier, balder, or look different in anyway. Every time I take what I'd consider a quality picture I add it to my dating profile, deleting the oldest if need be.

Take the time to read someone's profile. If you're serious about starting a relationship, you need to get to know the person and read what they have to say about themselves. It doesn't matter how good looking he or she is if they smoke and you can't stand it, or if they already have children and you don't like children.

Make the first message meaningful. Be sure to stand out from your competition. "Hi, how are you today?" isn't a good first impression. I like to prove that I did indeed read their profile by writing a tidbit about myself that is similar to something they said. Or asking them to tell me more about, say, a hobby they mentioned. Ladies, it is okay to write to a guy first in the online dating world! That is what everyone is there for!

Stick it out! There is going to be a much higher percentage of people you aren't interested in. But, every now and then you will find that diamond in the rough that makes you realize once again why you're on the site in the first place. Hence, why I haven't given up!

I look forward to your comments and hope to inspire those who have thought of online dating to take the leap of faith. More blogs and my personal experiences to come!

<3,
SingleMissRight