'The Process' of Online Dating

I have a few steps and rules that I take before meeting a guy in person from an online dating site. I came up with “The Process” to ensure I am not wasting my time. To me, there is no reason to take the next step and meet someone if there is doubt it couldn't possibly lead to something more.

Step 1- Emailing via dating site: Send several messages back and forth revealing basic information such as career, hobbies, what town we grew up in, and most importantly, intentions for being on the website.

Step 2 - Facebook friends: Once I get that feeling of anxiously awaiting checking my inbox in hopes of hearing from him, it's time for the next step! This is crucial and very important. Inspecting their social network allows for seeing more photos (and usually larger ones), seeing that they are a normal person with friends writing on their wall and tagging them out at social events, as well as seeing how many girls they add per week (their profile says “so-and-so is now friends with…”).

Browsing photos is priority. Based on the results from doing so, they may get deleted from my Facebook right away and simply never hear from me again. Usually that happens when the recent pictures look nothing like how he may be portraying himself on the dating site. As far as the adding girls thing goes, this is total stalker-esk. But, it’s a regular occurrence that I have had to become weary of, and can unmask a player. If they seem to be adding a lot of ladies, I assume they are more girls from the site, and it brings up a red flag that I keep in the back of my mind.

Step 3 - Texting: After he passes the FB test, and more communication has occurred, such as longer emails that reveal more personal information, we can now begin texting. This usually takes place on a daily bases and leads to either a phone call, or someone taking the plunge to ask the other out. (Yes, I am nontraditional in some aspects, I will ask a guy out)

Step 4 - The Date: Depending on the person, and the amount of communication there has been prior to the first meeting (I have some that only lasted days, while others lasted for months), dates can vary from something casual - group outings or grabbing a drink- to something more intimate, like dinner.

Guys can sense my unspoken vigorous interview process and crack jokes; asking if they have “passed my test.” It's what makes me feel most comfortable, not only physically, but keeps me emotional sound by doing my best not to step into a situation where I may get hurt (such as in my It's a Small World After All post when I was told he would be out of town for the weekend, but instead I happened to spot him at a bar in Buckhead).

There isn't a right or wrong way to online dating. Your process may be the polar opposite of mine. Whatever makes the dreaded first date better for you is the best way. The important thing, no matter what your way is, be safe!