I Gain More Than Gifts at Christmas

It's that time again. The holidays. When we all can expect to gain about five pounds. 

Why is it that all the really delicious foods have a pound of butter and/or a gazillion grams of sugar? Well this year, I'm going to avoid those extra calories by exercising during the holidays. I have a plan. 

Monday, I'll beat around the bush, jump to conclusions, and wade through the morning paper. 

On Tuesday, my plan includes dragging my heels, pushing my luck, make mountains out of molehills (that one uses up especially tenacious calories), and for building stamina: hitting the nail on the head.

Wednesday, I'll bend over backwards, jump on the bandwagon (whichever one strikes my fancy), and run around in circles.

Thursday, I'll really pull out all the stops. I'll climb the walls and add fuel to the fire.

If my plan works then on Friday, I'll open a can of worms, put my foot in my mouth (this one works best repetitively), start the ball rolling, and jump over the edge.  

Saturday, I plan to pick up the pieces.

I hope I'm successful. But as an added precautionary, I'll break any cookies before I eat them. After all, everyone knows that breaking cookies causes caloric leakage.

Yes, I plan to beat the Christmas bulge this year.

P.S. If all else fails, lie on your back. Raise your legs straight up, and place the bathroom scales on the bottom of your feet. Works every time.