It Is the 21st Century; Do We Still Need Fathers?

According to a 2008 study, four children are born every second in the United States.  In this day and age, this new individual opens his eyes without knowing if he will be welcomed by both biological parents or not. In today’s society, with teen pregnancies on the rise and an increased trend of bearing kids out of wedlock, more kids are growing up with single mothers.

In fact according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America, one out of three, live in biological father-absent homes.

By any standards, this is an astounding number with even greater consequences. The Census Bureau shows that these kids are five times more likely to be poor. Infant mortality for them is 1.8 times more than for a married couple, according to a study done by the National Center of Health Statistics. Not only this, but absence of the biological father has been constituted to be one of the main causes for teen pregnancies, childhood obesity, child abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, and even high dropout rate from school.

According to the Islamic faith, God created Adam and Eve as a pair (like many other species), knowing that each of them has to play a specific purpose in creating a well-balanced home and hence a well-balanced society.

God Almighty says in the Quran:

“And We have created you in pairs,” (78:9)

Man is made the bread winner and the protector among other things, while the woman is the child bearer, the care giver, the nurturer and the homemaker, while both of them work together to make a harmonious atmosphere for their offspring to flourish mentally, physically and emotionally. Absence of either of them creates disorder, and the numbers mentioned above are a living proof of this fact.

It has become common in this society that couples bear kids together and then many times, the father decides not to take responsibility for them.

According to the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him),

“Each one of you is a ruler and will be answerable in respect of his subjects.” (Bukhari)

This means that in the Islamic faith, every man is considered a ruler over his wife and children (in a family scenario) and hence would be accountable for every aspect of care and well being, similar to what a ruler is expected to do for his subjects.

So when a father forgoes his responsibility for providing for his children, it falls on the government’s shoulders to take care of this broken family in the form of child support, etc. While the government might accept the burden to help the mother and kids financially, what about the emotional development and bonding that still lacks in a child’s life who is brought up without a father?

Representing this modern world, we have to act more responsibly as a society. It is imperative to invest in the future by firstly, upholding the institution of marriage and secondly to make every effort to take care of our children not as single parents but as a mother and father team. Yes, circumstances change and divorces occur, but even then, we owe it to our children to figure out ways to keep a bond with them no matter what. It is not a choice but an obligation as a parent. Kids are a blessing and they should be valued as that.

It is ironic that we, people of the 21st century, with all the technical advancements, equipped with all the gadgets and gizmos, are still very primitive when it comes to emotional and developmental needs. There is no doubt in my mind that there are countless single mothers out there who are doing the best possible job they can to raise their kids on their own, but even then, nothing beats it when both father and mother work together as a team to raise the same child.

Particularly, in this case, two heads are always better than one!