The Growing Parent: Anger & Negotiating

Strategy #3 is to be willing to try negotiating with your child. This can be a touchy topic for a number of reasons and is more appropriate for children as they get older. Clearly the parent is supposed to be in charge, and I’m not suggesting otherwise. In fact statistics even show us that well-defined boundaries result in the best outcome for raising children. However, both my clinical and personal experiences show that being willing to give a little sometimes can have a tremendous impact on your relationship with your children.

A child’s job is to figure out where their boundaries are. One of a parent’s most important roles is to create and enforce those boundaries. That being said, as our children get older the boundaries we set in place for them have to become more lax as they mature into responsible adults themselves. I’m not suggesting anything that would compromise a child’s safety. But something as simple as moving a bedtime back a half hour can have a tremendous impact on your relationship.

Each family is completely different from the next. There certainly is no “one size fits all” approach to negotiating with your children. Taking the time to be creative and figure out what works best for your family will pave the way for long-lasting relationships.

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