'Ryan Was Amazing:' Crestwood Dad Recalls Son, 17, Who Died Of Mono

CRESTWOOD, IL — On Oct. 25, Ryan Plowman, 17, was healthy enough to play in Shepard High School’s varsity soccer playoffs. Ten days later, he was removed from life support, battling a sudden illness that mystified doctors.

“We played in wet, miserable conditions,” said Ryan’s coach and family friend Zeno Toscas. “We lost to a really good Bloom team. He played his heart out.”

Life had been going well for the Crestwood teen, who many have described as an “amazing kid.” He came from a good family known for their love and kindness, whether it was at Incarnation or St. Damian, the Crestwood Soccer Club or Shepard High School soccer. His whole life lay ahead of him. He was about to graduate from high school. The Shepard Astros won the IHSA soccer regionals. He was looking forward to attending Butler University, where he hoped to continue playing college-level soccer. And he had fallen head over heels in love with a girl, his first serious girlfriend.

It was while visiting Butler with his parents the weekend of Oct. 22 and 23, when Ryan got a stuffy nose. The next day, the congestion got a little worse.

“I went home on Sunday because I had to go to work,” said Dan Plowman, Ryan’s father. “He and his mother stayed an extra day.”

When they came home on Monday, Ryan asked his mother to take him to the doctor. He took a rapid test for COVID-19, mononucleosis and strep. All came back negative.

Diagnosed two years ago with Crohn’s disease, Ryan took his usual injection of steroids on Tuesday, the day of the miserable wet playoff game against Bloom High School.

“Ryan’s real concern was the playoffs,” his father said. “He was hoping for meds, so he could feel well enough to play.”

But the day after the game, his throat was even more sore. He went for another mono and strep test, and both came back negative. Doctors at Silver Cross Hospital did a mono antibody test, but they had to wait four days for the results. By Friday, Ryan couldn’t swallow his steroid pills for his Crohn’s disease, and Saturday he couldn’t swallow at all.

“His tonsils were bleeding,” his father said, so back to Silver Cross they went. This time, staff ran a test for 20 different viruses and infections. Everything came back negative. Doctors decided to administer an IV with meds, and to treat Ryan as if he had mono.

On Halloween night, things really started to go south. Ryan lost the ability to breathe. Doctors at Silver Cross were going to take him to ICU to intubate him. Nurses — “who should have been doctors,” his father said — put Ryan on a BiPAP machine. It worked and he was able to regain his breath. Doctors decided that Ryan needed to be placed in a pediatric ICU. He was taken to Comer Children’s Hospital.

At Comer, it was determined that Ryan did have mono. Doctors upped the steroids, but Ryan never improved. He was given a tracheotomy. It didn’t help.

“I can talk about it pretty well,” Plowman said, when asked how he could bear repeating the story so calmly and directly. “What I don’t know is how I’m ever going to get past the look in his eyes. Comer’s was like a war scene. Our eyes were locked when I was holding him, and he slumped over. I knew things were going south. The doctor had a hard time getting the airway back.”

Plowman and his wife, Jennifer, Ryan’s mom, were ordered out of the room. When Plowman peeked around the corner, he could see the doctor and nurses giving Ryan chest compressions. They were able to revive Ryan, but he had coded for 30 minutes, which starved his brain.

“They were going to take Ryan’s tonsils out, so I had a little hope there, but the surgery took a little longer than it should have,” Plowman said.

When he came out of surgery, Ryan was placed on a heart and lung machine. His parents were told that their son’s brain was likely gone. He was removed from the machine and a scan of his brain was performed. There was no functionality.

“We knew he was gone. I knew keeping him wasn’t what he needed to do,” Plowman said.

He called a few of his son’s friends, to let them know to come to Comer to say goodbye to Ryan. More than 150 people came to the ICU to visit Ryan. The entire Shepard soccer team was there, coaches, kids that Plowman coached on the Crestwood Soccer Club, came with their parents. Other family members arrived.

“It was off the charts,” his father said.

Late Saturday night — Nov. 5 — when all the visitors and extended family had left, Plowman told the doctors it was time to say goodbye to his son. The machinery keeping Ryan alive was removed. Ryan’s parents and his younger brother, Drew, were alone in the room with him. They held Ryan until his heart stopped and that was it.

“Ryan was definitely good,” his father said. “He didn’t deserve this. If he hadn’t had Crohn’s disease, he would still be here. It wiped out his immune system. People don’t die of mono.”

Falling asleep is hard. Waking up is harder when the realization that his son is gone hits his consciousness.

“The morning after he died, I couldn’t sleep, so I went to lay in his bed,” Plowman said. “I’m an auto mechanic. I’m not a poet. I wrote a Facebook post about Ryan. The words just poured out.”

Since his son’s death, the house has been packed with supportive family and friends. The Plowmans’ friend, Zeno Toscas, who has known Jen since they were kids and serves with Dan on the Crestwood Soccer Board, started a GoFundMe campaign that has raised over $80,000.”

“We didn’t want there to be a financial burden where they felt they had to go back to work immediately when they can’t mourn properly,” Toscas said. “And there are medical costs. Five days in the ICU aren’t cheap.”

“This is just one of those terrible situations,” Toscas continued. “It doesn’t make sense. It was more or less a perfect storm.”

On Wednesday, Nov. 9, a vigil for Ryan was held in the football stadium at Shepard High School. His parents asked attendees to wear Shepard apparel, or the color orange.

Visitation will be from 3 to 9 p.m, Thursday, Nov. 10, at the Crestwood Wellness and Recreation Center, 5331 W. 135th St., Crestwood. A Mass will take place at 11 a.m., Friday, Nov. 11, at St. Damian Church, 5330 W. 155th St., Oak Forest.

Donate to the Ryan Plowman Memorial on GoFundMe.

A father’s letter about his son:

Dear friends and family,

Last night at approximately 11:30, I lived through my absolute worst nightmare, the worst nightmare any father could have. I made the decision to remove my baby boy, Ryan, from life support.

The decision was not a hard one to make. It really wasn’t even a decision. It was more of a WHEN am I, WHEN are we ready, to do this. Ryan was ready when we were ready too.

Jen and I discussed how we wanted this to happen. We decided that the process would start with only Jen and I in the room. Once life support was removed we had our moment alone with Ryan. Then we opened the door and the room filled with family. The room filled! Ryan was smothered in love and held by Jen, Drew and I while his heart slowed and stopped.

In the hours before Ryan passed, we had many, many visitors. We have always known that Ryan was amazing. Judging by the amount of friends that came to visit yesterday, we were not the only ones that thought this way. We gave the task of inviting friends to several of Ryan’s closest friends. The amount of teammates, coaches, classmates and friends that showed up was incredible! We had a line formed in the ICU! We had friends helping to move groups in and out. It was nothing short of amazing. Thank you.

We learned a few things about Ryan yesterday. One of those things is that he kept many things to himself. He gets that trait from me. We learned that he has incredibly close relationships with a few others that we did not know about. He was so close to so many and that makes me so incredibly happy.

Then there is his best friend Ty. Ty has become our 3rd son. Ty gets yelled at by us if he knocks on the kitchen door rather than just walking in. Or if he needs a snack and doesn’t just grab that bag of pretzels. Ty and Ryan just worked. They supported each other. They complimented each other. They talked every day. They were the perfect best friends. Ty is going to need help. And Ty, if you read this, know that you are still welcome here anytime. You better not knock!

There was one person who gave me hardest time controlling my emotions. This beautiful, sweet and caring girl walked into our lives a few short months ago. I felt something but of course kept it to myself until Jen said exactly what I was feeling. There was something magical happening between this girl and Ryan ...

There is so much more I could say but instead I will wrap this up with a THANK YOU to all of our family, friends and the wonderful nurses we have had. The support has been incredible. The kind words through texts and phone calls has been amazing. Unfortunately I think where we will struggle most started at 1:00 this morning. We walked into a house that has been broken. It will never be the same.

Ryan, I am absolutely heart broken. My will to live departed when your soul left your body. But I will live on. I will live on and take care of your baby brother that loves you so much. I will continue to take care of and to love your mom. Your house will be open for any of your friends that want to come by.

Our door will be open and I hope our house is full of friends and family. It is what my broken family needs.

Thank you all for everything that you have done. Thank you all for the support that has yet to begin. We love you all.