Caregivers Learn Tips To Avoid Unwinnable Arguments With Loved Ones With Dementia

CHICAGO—Most of us try to steer clear of quarrels whenever possible. That’s especially true of unconstructive disagreements—a description that fits many conflicts involving people with dementia.

Participants in the Smith Village Caregiver Support Group will address the topic of “Avoiding Arguments” during their monthly meeting at 6:30 pm, Tuesday, April 21, at 2320 West 113th Place in Chicago.

“It is widely understood that no one has ever won an argument with someone who has Alzheimer’s disease,” said Smith Village resident Alice Keane, who will guide this discussion. “All kinds of dementia profoundly affect a person’s ability to communicate—to form cohesive statements and to comprehend statements of others.”

Frustrations on both sides—the caregiver as well as the person with any form of dementia—can lead to anger and the loss of hope that a resolution can be found. To avoid that outcome “requires caregivers to relearn and reframe the way we communicate,” adds Keane, who is accredited by the national Alzheimer’s Association, but stresses that the lived experience of attendees is a vital part of the discussions.

“We’ll talk about how to avoid correcting, coercing, convincing and reasoning with those in our care,” she explains. Such actions appeal to logic or intellect eroded by disease.

“Instead,” says Keane, “try responding to the emotion. Try to reassure the person, and to distract and redirect away from the argument.”

The Smith Village Caregiver Support Group meets on the third Tuesday of each month. To reserve a spot, call 773-474-7302. Visit Smith Village for more information.