A Guide To Parent-Teacher Conferences

For a classroom teacher, parent-teacher conferences are the teaching equivalent of running a marathon. Imagine doing 25 back-to-back 15-minute conferences over two days, often after a full day of teaching. Exhausting doesn’t even begin to describe it. I remember my first year teaching, a mom came into my classroom and sat down opposite me. I picked up a folder and said, “So let’s see how Mr. Nicholas is doing” and she replied, “My son’s name is Kyle.” Oops.

From the parent point of view, it’s one of the few times to have the teacher all to yourself. You want to hear all about your child’s life at school from Mad Minutes to whom they play with at recess. For a teacher, it’s a hallway full of parents and a ticking clock. So how can you maximize the limited time you have with the teacher?

• Be punctual — Teachers are on a tight schedule so if you are late you might get bumped to stand-by.
• Come with a list of questions — Avoid wasting time by jotting down your most important concerns before the conference. If you have a question that requires a lengthy response, schedule a follow-up time to speak with the teacher.
• Focus on academics — The primary focus of school is academics so ask questions about how your child is doing and how you may help your child improve if necessary.
• Be open-minded — The teacher may have some observations you do not see at home. Our kids bring out our most basic emotions, but try to opt out of defensive mode and listen to what the teacher has to say.
• Ask for clarification — If the teacher says your child is “chatty” or “plays roughly” ask specifically what that means or ask for examples when he or she displayed that behavior.
• Don’t complain about other kids — However, suggesting she not sit your child with another child is fine. If there have been specific incidents you feel the teacher should know about, go ahead and share. The teacher will listen and handle it, she just can’t comment on other kids.
• Treat the teacher with respect — It’s sad that I even need to say that.  Teachers are professionals with the education and experience necessary to competently teach your child. You would not appreciate other people that are not in your profession telling you how to do your job and neither do they. 
• Do not stay past allotted time — Understand that the teacher is not trying to rush you but there is only so much time and others are probably peering in the door for any sign you are about to wrap it up.

Sometimes teachers don’t even have time to eat. Once in a while a parent would bring me a little treat like a Diet Coke or chocolate covered pretzels (my fav!).  That kind of gesture, a kind word, or even a warm smile tells the parent that you are both there for the same reason, to help their child be as successful as possible.