The meaning of butterflies

After returning from the hospital to visit a friend of 40 plus years on life support, I stepped out of my car and walked to the mailbox as a black butterfly swirled around the box; and after closing the lid, the black butterfly continued to follow. Maybe it was my perfume. Maybe it was a sign of death or misfortune though I really did not know, then, the meaning of butterflies. There had been no response and my friend had been in a coma for just a few days due to listeria with complications of encephalitis. Everything seemed to be happening so fast. And I did not like the black butterfly following me. It looked more like a wasp.

A few days later hope for physical rebound on this earth had declined for my friend and life support was removed after the family had said their goodbyes. And on another cell phone a few suburbs away in Downers Grove, at the exact time, my pastor prayed on the phone that she be embraced by Gods amazing love. Immediately after, I called a mutual friend to tell her about the beautiful prayer and how much better it had made me feel. It helped her too. It was only minutes later that we received the final call confirming our fears.

And for me it is always after the wake, funerals, and memorials to fully understand the death of someone so precious.

It was a beautiful day in July with the sky an amazing color of blue when it all hit me in my backyard surrounded by an array of natural beauty; my favored plants and solace. It had been cooler than normal so far without mosquitoes. Hosta’s guarded the deck where I pulled up a chair and cried. No…better yet…sobbed.

And the drama of losing a friend brought, to the surface, everything else wrong about life like tragedy always does. And it continues its viscous spiral. And,of course, it becomes all about me. I don’t have a full time job, I don’t have a financial nest egg, I am too old, and there are more family and friends dead than alive. I just wanted to go home with them. I grabbed my phone and called Carmella, another 40 plus friend who always listened at my worst, and a retired pastor besides. What could be better?

And today I was being encircled by two white butterflies this time. I needed to change perfumes. The same experience with my white visitors happened the day before, swarming in front of my face and almost landing in my hair…aggressive little things.

And as I talked to Carmella, trying to wipe my tears while on the phone. I happened to mention these butterflies that wouldn’t leave me alone.

“What color are they? ” she asked.

“White.”

“Do you know what the white butterfly stands for?”

“Oh no..not from a former woman of the cloth.”

“I do believe that white butterflies symbolize our loved ones who are in heaven. In fact, the butterfly and its association with the soul spans across many cultures. Jesus Christ is seen holding a butterfly in christian art. The butterfly is the symbol of the resurrection so it is displayed at funerals and memorials. She paused as I whispered.

“One is sitting on my knee,” as I tried not to move or breath.

I had forgotten my distress, disappointment and became totally amazed by the encouraging and powerful symbol. As I calmed, it flew around my head a few times and then said goodbye. It had reunited with its other butterfly friend of faith and was gone for the time.

Another sign of spiritual intervention? Believe what you will, with the comforting words of a biblical teacher and the butterfly spending more time with me than most, yes, I realized that I would try this life with new meaning. I felt safe and at peace.

As days progressed, I have continued to be visited by my spiritual messengers especially when I am in prayer and asking for guidance. It may just be a writers glorified imagination who just wants to write words that will help others. Maybe not?

One day after all of this, another friend emailed me a message that has known my trials and tribulations.

You’re a select few, Karla, who have found their purpose. Stay the course and God will bless your finances, family and faith

After reading the message, I took a break and stepped outside into the natural beauty of my world. My white butterfly greeted me once again.