“Aw, c’mon, Mom, have a little compassion.” Coming from my high school son some years ago, I thought that basically, he just wanted me to go along with his request. And did I need compassion for that? When faced with his comment, I needed to really figure out just what he was wanted from me. Yes, I do think that he wanted me to be compassionate, but more accurately, at the time, he wanted my permission.
What does it take for us to show compassion to our children? And what do we need to have in place for ourselves in order to do that? I think our compassion needs to come from a place of understanding and paying attention. It takes our ability to look at a situation from our child’s point of view. In addition to understanding what it ‘feels like’ to be her/him, we need to consider where the behavior/request is coming from.
As we look at the world from our child’s point of view, it is also necessary for us to be paying attention to how we are feeling. For example, are we going to be able to have the patience it takes to meet the needs of our frustrated, tired, hungry, or energetic child, if we have not taken good care of ourselves?
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What do you have to do to meet your needs? Go for a walk? Work out? Talk with a friend? Take a little time to read? As we spend the remaining days of summer with our children, let’s see if we can really focus on, and pay attention to, the needs, not only of our children, but perhaps more importantly, of ourselves.
Georgia DeClark is a PCI Certified Parent Coach® who loves working with parents to discover their strengths and develop strategies and tools for improving their family relationships. She is the owner of Partners in Parenting and can be reached at PartnersInParenting-il.com
