The Mediocre Mom is BACK!

Welcome to Throwback Tuesday, and a weekly revisiting with me, The Mediocre Mom, ten years after my original column on Patch.com. In those days, Karen Chadra was my editor, she lived down the street from me, and I would run her taste tests from my other column: Renata's Kitchen. The kids are now grown, and the mommy blogging has dried up. Or has it?

Corona Crisis 2020 has brought the chicks back to the nest, and we're suddenly bursting at the branches again. This time, the kids are more intelligent, successful, and fit than I am. I tossed aside my half-written novel to fill the cart and feed five again. We are privileged not to be suffering from homelessness, ill-health, or the threat of fiscal doom (so far).

First of all, I'd like to be brutally honest about my choice to be a stay-at-home-mom. It was the best fit for me, and I loved it. I will say that getting back into action after the kids left was a whole lot harder than it was for most of my friends who were working moms. It's easier to run a race when you've kept jogging at least a couple of times a week.

Maybe I'm hard on myself. Perhaps my track record isn't so dire. I do think that keeping a hand in something you love is great, and keeping the cash rolling can be even better. Mine is a cautionary tale. What does it look like to pile all your chips into raising your kids from naught to nineteen?

I was naive about the entire process. Somehow, I assumed I would find a way to be successful if I used the mantra we have hanging on a sign in our house, which reads "Follow Your Heart." Other moms were hopping the train to the city and leaning back in. I was writing bad poetry and pitiful prose. I journaled my justification for not reentering the workforce with the commitment I had for everything else in my life.

Menopause ensued. I failed to calculate that I would get tired with age, and hormones would hollow out my happiness. Other women tried to caution me, but I was determined to zig while they zagged. I held out for a book deal, which I never procured.

As my kids turned into teens, most younger moms were getting fighting fit, while I stuck to my hungry heart. This choice did not come without penalty. Once, a friend confessed that she was killing herself to get back to the corporate America race. She said it was worth the effort. Putting her arm around my shoulder, she explained, "I don't want to turn into you."

That friend is currently bringing in six figures, has a killer hairdo, and drives a shiny car. I just colored my hair with a box from the grocery store, hand-painted the scuffs off my old hybrid, and make less money than I did when I worked side jobs in college.

So here I am, facing the effects of the choices I made for the last couple of decades. I'm still trying to make my website, Renata's Kitchen, a success. I love the writing, but I must face the fact that the social media marketing of Dave the Pug has had more success than I have had. With our adult kids home and all of us thrown back into our old roles, it's been very cool to see how these little science experiments called "children" have cooked up.

Three juicy, delicious adults now sit at the table with us every night for dinner. They'll be horrified when they see I've taken up the Mediocre Mom moniker again. But my hungry heart wants to take notes while the grownup kids are home.

The best parts of having the kids home are listening to them laugh, hearing them imitate my husband and me, and tasting their dinner creations. The worst part is that their medical licensing exam, graduation from college, and vacation plans were all canceled, which makes them feel sad. We all recognize that these are the 1% problems.

We are trying to help our community and the world as best we can. My daughter encouraged me to start a live Facebook show. I went back to basics and did what I knew best. I baked cookies. I made almond butter cookies for entertaining folks and raising money to help the most vulnerable in our community. (Daily Bread: Feed the Local Kids.) While my kids have grown into their professional roles, I'm still baking for a buck. One visit to the recipient of the funds, the Elmhurst Yorkfield Food Pantry, made me realize we are all doing what we can. If Elmhurst's Grand Suburu can donate a fleet of food delivery vans, I can donate my time.

The five of us are doing our best not to react to our base instincts and say what we think of how the others smell, sound, and look. Staying home and isolating seems to be the best thing we can do for our country and our world. There will be more to do in the coming weeks, I am sure. For now, I am loving every second of having the five of us home.

I imagine our kids will choose to raise their children differently and stay in full-time employment for the whole of their lives. If they follow their hearts, I am sure they will get through any crisis.

If you want to check out any of my other projects, please visit me here on my website. I'd love to hear how your family is managing. In the olden days of Patch, we had so many visitors and so many comments from readers! These messages were some of the highlights of my writing career. Not quite a book deal, but it brought me a great deal of joy to hear your thoughts.

What can I do to help the parents staying at home with their kids? I'd love to put my old job to use. Email me anytime at renataskitchen@gmail.com. I want to know your struggles with raising small kids during Corona Crisis 2020. We're all in this together. And we got this.