Oh, yes! School’s starting again!

Here we are in the cold, frigid deep-freeze known as Chicago winter with a brand new year to look forward to. Kids in school have 5 months left.  That’s a lot of time. If they’ve somehow fallen behind, gotten grades that weren’t as stellar as they—or you—were hoping for, hey, it’s a new day and a new year. 

I love that about schools: there are always two chances to start over all in the span of one year.

Parents, too, get to start over. Maybe you weren’t as vigilant about your child’s schoolwork or behavior as you wished you’d been. Or maybe you were too vigilant. Maybe time slipped away. Maybe you found yourself in situations that you didn’t know how to handle. Look at this as a new start or as a free do-over.

January is a good time to take stock of your children’s progress up until the holiday break. Are they on track for learning what’s expected of them? Were you, as parents, pretty good about monitoring their school work and offering assistance if needed? Were the kids good about doing their homework and schoolwork in a timely manner?  Was their behavior at school good enough that you didn’t receive more than one dreaded phone call from a teacher or principal?

Maybe it’s time to ask a teacher for a conference about your child’s work or behavior. Maybe you’re ready to ask a doctor for help in deciphering and responding to your child’s behavior. Or maybe it’s time to find a group of adults to just talk things over with.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: Parenting has to be one of the hardest jobs on the planet—unless, of course, you somehow lucked out and have the only perfect boy or girl in existence. 

So don’t be afraid to ask others how they handle situations. Don’t hesitate to ask for advice or read advice columns (I love the Tribune’s column The Parent ‘Hood on Sundays) or books to get ideas on what to do.

Allowing some time for reflection (even if the only time you have is in the shower) often leads to more questions. And that’s actually a good thing, because it helps you look at situations from several angles.

It’s critical to know your own values and to focus on the end result: What would you ideally like to see change? Do you want to see your child focus more on academics? Would you like your child to be less (or more) social in school? Are you concerned about a lack of progress? Do you wonder if your child is on track to get into a decent college? Then work backwards to figure out how to get there. A key piece is involving the child, which is best done through a casual conversation that allows the child to talk about how he or she sees things. 

If you need some advice, then seek it out. Teachers, coaches, counselors, social workers, and principals can assist you at the school level. Friends, clergy, and doctors are other resources. And of course, there’s always the Internet, books, newspapers, and magazines. 

So take some time this month to think about how things are going with your kids’ lives. Ask yourself if there are any concerns, and be sure to ask your kids, too. Listen carefully and think about what they say.

While your children may not be able to be as introspective as you can be, they will most likely be able to describe how they feel and what might be a problem for them. Then make a plan--together.

Good parenting focuses on what’s important. It’s the journey towards improvement that counts.