Divorce and Child Insecurity

For children and adolescents going through their parents' divorce, there is often a sense of loss - loss of the family unit, loss of what was "normal," loss of a sense of stability. These feelings are often overwhelming, and accompanied by a consuming insecurity. It is important for parents to maintain a strong presence in their child's daily life during the divorce process, even establishing new forms of communication; this will be the foundation on which the child rebuilds their sense of security and identity. For instance, parents should consider engaging their child one-on-one in fun activities that the child enjoys, allowing also for private time to give the child opportunities to express their feelings. Keeping close to one's children also will allow the parents to observe their child's behavior, to see if the child might benefit from therapy.

If your child is reluctant to talk about their emotions, and you notice a significant change in their normal attitudes, it might be best to open a dialog about seeing a therapist. Most therapeutic practices allow for individual and family counseling with the aim of addressing the child's personal needs, as well as engaging the rest of the family so the child knows that their parents are taking this journey with them. The purpose is not to attempt to erase these feelings of grief, but for parents to provide their child with a healthy outlet during a time of significant change.

For more resources on how to help your child cope with divorce, click here to check out Dr. Clatch's What's Happening! articles, featured on our website.

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