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Bullying In Highland Park Schools: Here's What Parents Are Saying

Parents give mixed reviews to bullying prevention policies at local schools.

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HIGHLAND PARK, IL — Bullying prevention programs in Highland Park elementary and high schools received mixed reviews in an informal survey of Patch readers. The unscientific sampling of self-identified respondents who said their children attend schools provided anecdotal feedback about how parents feel administrators are doing in countering the menace of bullying.

District efforts at bullying prevention received positive reviews from a small minority of those who identified as parents of students in North Shore School District 112.

"I thought our school did an amazing job went we went through this the past several years. The social workers, along with the teachers and administration, went above and beyond to help my child and to work with the bullies. I have zero complaints about the way the school handled it," said one respondent. The parent said their child had been teased, excluded, had their belongings stolen, been hit, kicked or punched and bullied by phone, text or online.

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"Honestly, I think our school did all it could do. I think some of the parents in this district are a big part of the problem. They encourage this kind of behavior by acting like bullies themselves. (Not all...some.) My child isn’t perfect, and I am sure I don’t know half of what my child does when I am not around. But I constantly tell my children that bullying is completely unacceptable and that being kind is much better than being the 'cool kid'"

Another District 112 parent said the district's anti-bullying policies were effective and recommended administrators continue on their current path.

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"I have a child with special needs and have always feared they would be bullied because they are different, but that has not been the case at all," the parent said.

But a majority of respondents expressed dissatisfaction with bullying prevention in the district. Some questioned whether district staff were really enforcing their purported bullying prevention policies:

Two years ago when my youngest was in kindergarten, he was bullied on the playground several times a week for 7 months. I spoke with the [District 112 school] principal at the end of the year and requested my son be placed in a separate classroom from the main bully. Her response was that kids change over the summer and they likely would be okay together. I reminded her that my son was bullied for an entire year without the school intervening, despite my many attempts to get them involved; including, speaking with his teacher (several times), the school social worker, and the playground staff. I also, reminded her that the school has a zero tolerance for bulling and if they put the boys in the same classroom I would go to the superintendent and school board to address the problem. I have had kids in this district for over 10 years and repeatedly witnessed our district protecting the bully and NOT the kids being bullied. ...
District 112 is supposed to have a zero tolerance for bulling, yet at [District 112 school] many of the aggressive students get away with it. The sweet sensitive kids remain vulnerable. It's really frustrating. I know Glenview has a "special needs" school where kids go if they cannot acclimate to a standard school setting. I don't think our district has anything like that so the aggressive kids remain at their home school even if that is not the best placement for the student or the other kids in their class.

The parent said their son's self-esteem "plummeted" and he began experiencing intense anxiety from the bullying.

"The teachers would find him crying in the hallway fairly frequently because he was anxious, something we never experienced with him before. I then took him to a child psychologist. It took a year to build his esteem again."

The parent called on the district to have an "actual zero tolerance policy" when it comes to students bullying each other.

"If kids are repeatedly aggressive and mean, or cannot acclimate to a standard school setting then they need to go to a place that will best serve them, which is NOT mainstream! Furthermore, the staff should keep a tight watch on kids who are known for that type of behavior," the respondent said.

Another parent said an eighth grader attacked their sixth grade grade daughter on a school bus, striking her 10 times in the head. The assailant's only punishment was a seven-day ban from riding the bus.

"The girl was bullying my kid way back in elementary school. Since day one on bus, she was calling my kid names and I saw the video it is very disturbing. I filled a police report to have this on record. This girl has a problem and it is not the first time she has been in trouble," the parent said, recommending administrators pay more attention to places with less adult supervision, such as locker rooms and lunchrooms.

Several respondents said parents of bullies should be held more accountable for their children's behavior.

"I think [District 112 anti-bullying and discipline policies] could be better, but it's also parents taking responsibility when they hear/ know their child is bullying another student. It's not just the school's responsibility," one said. They recommended administrators partner with parents of bullies and those on the receiving end to establish "an open door policy that encourages kids to report bullying, teachers and staff should communicate so they know to watch interactions between certain students."

"Bullies' parents need to be involved and in some instances, punished," another respondent in District 112 suggested.

At Highland Park and Deerfield high schools, parents called for more proactive action and decisive punishment by administrators. One said little was done about "affluently connected students hazing other kids in sports and clubs." Another District 113 parent suggested the school could endeavor to create more opportunities for students at risk of potential bullying:

Intentionally create lunch tables and activities for those kids who are shy and excluded and aren’t popular. Call it something like the Friendship Club or Friendship Table where everyone is invited to sit and everyone has to take a pledge to talk to everyone and not play on their phones which creates social isolation. Make a game like the old Hot Potato or Musical Chairs to get to know other kids. Teach kids how to have conversations-some don’t know due to the electronic age. Create a group for Prom and Dances and activities for those who no dates and no friends so they can participate too. Lots of room for improvement.

Read More: Bullying: How Highland Park Schools Tackle The Issue

Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

The regional parent survey, timed to coincide with National Bullying Prevention Month in October, was posted on dozens of Patch sites in Illinois and in the Midwest. The survey is not scientific, but could be considered a broad indicator of parents' feelings about the seriousness of bullying in their schools and communities.

Take the Patch bullying survey »

As of Friday, Oct. 18, more than 460 parents responded to this regional Patch survey. The key findings were:

  • Nearly 71 percent of parents said their children had been bullied at least once.
  • Nearly 65 percent had been bullied this school year.

These informal findings should be compared to statistics compiled in more scientific surveys, which note that:

The Menace Of Bullies: Patch Advocacy Reporting Project

As part of a national reporting project, Patch has been looking at society's roles and responsibilities in bullying and a child's unthinkable decision to end their own life in hopes we might offer solutions that save lives.

Do you have a story to tell?

Are you concerned about how your local schools handle bullies and their victims?

Email us at bullies@patch.com and share your views in the comments.

Selected Stories From The Project

From No Bully, Patch News Partner

From The Experts

What We've Learned

Patch staff contributed. Spelling and punctuation have been corrected in some parent responses.

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