Giving and expecting thanks.

My day 10 of 12 days of posts is late today, but then I’ve been late at about everything the last few days because the dog gone days are going to fast!!! As it always is the way, there was a reason not foreknown to me as to why it was ok for me to be “late”, or just on time. As I checked my email tonight before I headed to bed to write this post I received an email from a very unhappy giver. If any of you reading this “know” me you know that what rips me apart is that I still care what you think and when I let you down. I believe that you can hear 100 expressions of accolades but that 1 expression of negative will level you.

I fall so short of the level I expect of myself. My husband will openly tell you that I am “OC” I choose to believe that stands for “outstanding citizen” . Somehow I think I’m naïve and disillusioned. Tonight I realized I am disillusioned at more things than less. I launched myself on this ship of being a conduit from those that need from those that can meet a need exactly 10 years ago. I did this selfishly, not for those that need, not for those that can meet the needs, but for me. I was crippled with grief and refused to spend another holiday like I had spent the first one without him (Thanksgiving). My eyes were opened to a whole congregation of people that I had failed to see my entire life: those that ache on the holidays, then to those that keep getting their hands smacked as they try to climb to the next rung of survival in a dog eat dog world. My eyes and heart were opened and I was willing to give myself to this calling 24/7 for the unforeseeable future. That was then…..

Now I’m old.
Seriously.
Yet those that allow me to be their voice keep lifting me up when I get lazy and sit down. They walk in with their kids and allow me to love them and be apart of their family, they being me the most beautiful, simple and humble offerings of appreciation and notes of thanks that I try to share anonymously without exploiting them and their circumstances. When you ask “how do you know they are in need?” I can only answer I “know” because I “know”, I have witnessed it personally, I have been called by the school social workers, by the church family, by the neighbors of a family that is trying so hard to survive against the tide and “is there anything Hope and Friendship can do?”. I don’t look for need ever, yet I see need festering in our community being fed by the lack of work, lack of assistance from state and national government, and fueled by the set backs that keep good hard working people down.

I don’t want to rant on this. Simply put I need sleep because tomorrow I need to prepare for the biggest outreach I have coordinated in my 10 years of doing this for “fun”. We will visit almost 80 homes, our Police and all 4 of our Fire Departments to gift them with a cooked meal on Christmas Day. Many are and have offered much, some are offering a bit, and many wish they could offer but do not have the resources so they are contributing what is needed: prayer and positive thoughts that we will have cleared sidewalks and weather permitting the delivery of all of these acts of kindness. I am simply thrilled, yet tonight understand that I have not had the time to personally thank all who make these amazing acts of kindness possible and for that I apologize and commit to being better.

I get so consumed in hearing and being impassioned to meet the needs and know I need to get better in writing this down and communicating my sincere thanks to all who join me in this mission. My problem is that if I take the time to sit and write the hundreds and hundreds of thank you’s that most of you will toss aside after you’ve glanced over it I’ll be short the minutes I need to fit in for the visits to those who are ailing, to those whom I find it more important to sit down with and “listen” to and offer what I can to the needs they are facing, to those that need a donation conduited to those that need…..

I am not negating the importance of thank you’s at all! I believe in that and will work on that being a standard in 2015, even if it’s a generic one (of which I can not stand- my “OC” flares on not hand writing thank you’s). However, I also want to offer this….I started this before anyone else joined me and I supplied the financial needs that were required to fuel the resources of helping those in need and I never promoted that. I lost my business and I will guarantee you that my accountant will fault much of that to me pouring personal and professional funds into helping those that had it worse than I did and never promoting or advertising this campaign. I’m ok with that because I laid my head down at night and knew that me not receiving a paycheck was ok because another was on the upside of hope as you make happen now. You paid a deficit of $600 back rent today- a child was sick, mom has to stay home, not everyone gets paid to stay home with a sick child. You offered a gas card today to fill a tank of gas for a hard working friend who needed this assistance “until the next payday”. Simple and humble requests that we are meeting and change is happening. I would hope you heard my thanks via email, text, in person, or through the many posts via Social Medai and Local Press. If you haven’t then let me make it clear that my personal output would be futile without your support to back it up and your support is meeting needs, creating hope, and spreading amazing ripples of compassion.

I will fall short of my expectations of myself and of your expectations of me, however, I can guarantee you that there isn’t a minute of the day, especially at this time of the year, that I am not consumed in making life better for those who life in the shadows channeling the resources, gifts, and compassion of those who care to make things better for other. I admire you, I respect you, and I thank you one and all for making the insufficiencies in another home in our corner of our world your concern, not just mine, and not just reading about it or hearing about it but acting on it and making things better, even if only for one day.

Bring on Christmas.
I’m feeling more impassioned to meet the needs of those who live in our arm’s reach and I am feeling empowered with all of the support you are offering, knowing that I am not alone in this mission to lift the spirits of those who have been knocked down but walking with an army of angels who know their thanks is not only here but beyond the level of this world.

Matt 6:3 4 “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Wishing you peace,
Terri

Terri O’Neill-Borders
Email- terri@hopeandfriendshipfoundation.com
Website- www.hopeandfriendshipfoundation.com
Wordpress- http://hopeandfriendshipfoundation.wordpress.com/

Hope and Friendship Foundation
721 Hickory St, Lemont, IL 60439
630-816-4972
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”
Proverbs 31: 8-9