If you knew then what you know now

If you knew then what you know now……

You spoke the vows that would be later broken. Not just broken but shattered with infidelity, abuse and deceit.
You called them friend before they betrayed your trust.
You were celebrated with the highest of praise and honors, prior to the hostility, jealousy, harassment, emotional abuse, that forced you from the job that you swore you’d never leave.
You accepted the promotion and accolades from your peers, not knowing how fast the pressure would mount and the hatchet would swing.
You trusted your deepest secret to the same person you heard sharing it in the breakroom.
You entered a period of happiness hoping it would remain, only to find it was a fleeting moment followed by pain and suffering.
At the time you did not know.
On this day I reread the verses of Jesus being celebrated with a parade and accolades, shouting and ceremony knowing that this was going to lead to his demise and I wonder how he was able to smile and allow the celebrating from the same crowd that would call for his death five days later. He knew, yet he allowed it to happen selflessly, peacefully. We encounter our celebrations that often are unknowingly followed by devastation. What if we knew now what we didn’t know then?

“They went off and found everything just as Jesus had said. While they were untying the donkey, its owners asked, “Why are you doing that?”
They answered, “The Lord needs it.”
Then they led the donkey to Jesus. They put some of their clothes on its back and helped Jesus get on. And as he rode along, the people spread clothes on the road in front of him. When Jesus started down the Mount of Olives, his large crowd of disciples were happy and praised God because of all the miracles they had seen. They shouted,
“Blessed is the king who comes
in the name of the Lord!
Peace in heaven
and glory to God.”
Some Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, make your disciples stop shouting!”
But Jesus answered, “If they keep quiet, these stones will start shouting.” ~ Luke 19:32-40
On the other side of betrayal, we wonder why we didn’t see “it” coming.
Why did we not see that they would deceive us, leave us, hurt us, toss us aside, make us feel unneeded, unwanted, unloved?
Jesus knew this celebration was simply for the moment.
He knew that his death was imminent.
He told his closest friends all he knew was to be, and they still were blindsided.
He mounted the donkey (not a valiant white horse that warriors would mount, he chose the humble mount) and moved through the crowd being celebrated as a hero, knowing that soon he would be the outcast.
If we knew that the moment we are celebrated, promoted, most loved, most appreciated would-be shorty before our demise, our deceit, our fall, could we, would we still enter the room?
I sat on this and thought of all of my most difficult hardships and thought of both sides of them. The excitement, anticipation, and hope moving into the open door, then the breathtaking gut blow, the pain, the hopeless and sleepless nights that followed the fall.
Would I walk through that door, accept that honor or position, love that person, if I knew then what I know now?
The right answer is yes. The hard answer is yes.
I have found in my life that the best has come from the worst. There has been beauty that has come from the ashes of my life. The loved one that has left, the job that has been cut short, the funds that have been taken, the opportunities that I thought should have been mine that passed me over, have led me to where I am right here and right now, and that is a beautiful place of peace, love, faith and hope.
Jesus knew this Palm Sunday celebration was to be short lived.
He knew that soon the tide would turn and he would be persecuted and betrayed.
Yet he participated and allowed the celebration because he could not get to the finish line without continuing forward on the path that he was on.
I don’t feel I could be that courageous, kind, and merciful.
Yet I am inspired by one who was, and continue to try to be a work in progress of one who he created me to be.
Life will deal us accolades and blows.
How we deal with each determines how we grow.
We need to humbly move through the highs being grounded enough to be strong enough to handle the lows.
We are strong enough.
I can tell you firsthand, from this celebrated and honored, battered and beaten servant that as much as I enjoy the celebrations, I also appreciate the struggles, knowing that I will, have, and am determined to continue to move through them to get to my finish line.
I don’t want to be celebrated by the crowds; I simply want to please the one they celebrated.

"Remember finally, that the ashes on your forehead are created from the burnt palms of last Palm Sunday. New beginnings invariably come from old false things that are allowed to die." ~ Richard Rohr

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