Gratitude – You Bet

When I was 7 or 8 years old, I woke one morning and left the house to go play in the park behind our backyard. There was blood - lots and lots of blood - bloody marks on our wooden fence, bloody pools on our driveway and bloody footprints everywhere. Apparently, I had slept through the pain-filled shouts and sirens of the night before. You see, some late teens had decided to drive quickly (fast) through the park, but they did not recognize that the road was being repaved and the water mains stood tall - until it was too late. Two young men catapulted through a car windshield – cut to pieces.

Fortunately, the two - part stumbling, part crawling - made it through our back yard and to our side door. I suppose it would be considered serendipity or grace, depending on your point of view, that my father was a medic in post war Japan. He knew what to do to help those boys survive.

For the next 20 + years those boys/men sent my father 2 cards a year – one for the anniversary of the accident and another at Christmas.

I thought all of it – the life-saving and the gratitude was the coolest thing ever.

Oh how, apparently, times have changed.

My life was saved at the Centre club in Libertyville; after having quadruple bypass heart surgery at age 46, I participated in the Cardiac Rehabilitation program at Condell. Thankfully, I used the experience as an opportunity to take full advantage of everything the Centre Club offers. I began attending spinning classes, and soon found myself at the club 5-7 days each week for 8 ½ years.  I lost 80 pounds and had measureless admiration of the club and people who helped me along the way. I contributed 2 articles that were published in the Centre Club newsletter and two of my favorite blog posts about the Centre Club on Patch. Unfortunately, this all came to an abrupt end in January.

Eight years ago the personal trainer I had moved to another state; I asked an instructor if she would continue my training because she had announced to a class that she had just got her certificate to do so. During the next 2 ½ years, following her direction, I was able to far exceed any/all goals that I set for myself. I believe that compliance to the training she provided saved/extended my life. I was and still am immensely grateful -- and I had no problem letting it be known. I wrote and wrote letters of gratitude – she once quipped that she would have to build a room to put them all. – Cool!

Six years ago this instructor told me that she thought what I was doing was too much. I said sorry. I asked if I could still periodically give her some materials, such as newspaper clips, articles, pictures and a once a year gratitude letter; she said it was O.k. to do so every once in a while, but just not so many.

In the next 6 years I furnished a total of 6 letters – only one after being told by the club manager 16 months prior not to have any more placed in her work cubicle - he told me that she was upset and scared for reason not explained. I didn't go to her class for 6 months and she questioned why; I asked if it was alright, she said of course - I resumed. She asked to have 1 item that I had read to the class and another (a birthday card) that I had kept because "it might be too much." 

This January I handed her a letter, 16 months since the last -- it suggested a reason that she, or others, may have misread/misinterpreted my intentions/behavior.

My membership was terminated by phone call from the club manager. There was no reason given, other than “You were warned.”

I expressed gratitude, did so less when asked to, and left immediately when asked to do that – I never solicited any contact apart from talking at the club, club functions, a carwash to support LV cheerleading (solicited by her), and randomly crossing paths a few times in town over the course of 8 years. I never, in any way, made an inappropriate comment or question; I never made an inappropriate gesture, touch or solicitation. I merely expressed gratitude I had toward her - the source of my survival.

When I was dierctly told by her that she did not want me in her classes (first time) I immediately left; I offered to refrain from attending any of her classes and said that I would immediately leave in an unobtrusive manner if she was subbing for another instructor – that was not good enough.

 Now that’s Gratitude!

I choose to maintain the belief that earnest gratitude is cool; that will not be taken from me.