Suicide affects entire family

Hundreds of family, friends and supporters streamed into Southwest Ice Arena on Saturday for the first annual NK Memorial Fundraiser, held to generate awareness about suicide prevention as well as support for the Kurzawski Children's Educational Fund. With the holidays here, suicides increase, so the Kurzawski family's willingness to share their story may save the lives of others now in the same position they were in nearly five years ago.

"We just want to try and save others from going through the same experience we went through," said Tom Kurzawski, in his interview with WGN-TV, which will air on Thursday, Dec. 5 on the 9 O'Clock News. "We believe if we can save one life and stop one other family from experiencing this pain, we will have done our job. But hopefully there will be many more we help."

Tom's wife, Nora, mother of Jenna, Doug and Sarah, committed suicide on March 18, 2009 after struggling with depression for many years. Over the past four years, the family has worked to heal through counseling, attending support group meetings and just talking with close and supportive family and friends. "We have talked about trying to do something to help others and we feel like we are now able to do it," said Tom Kurzawski.

The pain inside his son, Doug, who was 15 at the time of the incident, becomes visible the second he is asked about losing his mother. "If someone out there thinks that suicide will help their families and take the burden off of them, believe me, you are not," said Doug, who fought through tears to talk about it. "It affects everyone. You can get help. There are people who will help you, if you just talk to them. There are support groups that will help you. When that happens, it is hard on everyone." During the same time period Doug lost his mother, he also lost a good friend from his neighborhood whom he had known since sixth grade. It was his best friend's younger brother and two suicides in a short amount of time was unbearable for the young man who showed great courage in talking about it. "It was a very hard time, very hard," said Doug.

His older sister Jenna, who was 17 at the time of the tragedy, is now a senior at North Central College in Naperville, studying psychology. “No-one really wants to talk about suicide,” said Jenna. “No-one really wants to think about it…until it confronts you. Then, there is no escaping it.”

Jenna was a soccer player at Lockport Township High School at the time and decided to continue playing soccer, only because her mother really enjoyed watching her compete. Nora Kurzawski loved watching all of her kids play sports, whether it was Jenna in soccer, Doug playing hockey or Sarah in volleyball. It brought her a few hours of great pleasure and happiness. Those were moments her kids all enjoyed sharing with their mother, just to see her happy, smiling. Those were moments that were on the other side of the spectrum from the depression and sadness they watched their mother battle through with the help of her anti-depressant medication, therapy and support group.

It was when Nora stopped taking her medication that it became very apparent to her family, she was depressed again. For the Kurzawski family, that is one of their key messages. "If you have been diagnosed with depression, you have to take your medication and see your therapist," said Tom Kurzawski. "It's an illness. I like to compare it to a professional athlete hurting their knee and being out for a year. They get their treatment and then they come back. But with the depression, you have to keep taking your treatment. You have to keep seeing your therapist, talking to your family, going to support groups. It's an illness. There should not be a stigma attached to it, but there is right now and we all need to get past that issue."

For more about the NK Memorial or donating to the Kurzawski Children's Education Fund, go to www.tiny.cc/nkfundraiser.