I've coached U5, U6 boys soccer, U5,U6, and U7 girls soccer, and a 4th-6th grade boys' basketball team that won the State Championship last year. Coaching kids is a blast and never a dull moment. Even at the U5 level--the kids know which team is winning and which one is losing. In general they know when they've played a good game and when they haven't. They also know when they're up against a better player whether in practice or a game. In my experience, it's the parents who generally can't handle their child losing, who can't handle the thought of another player being better, and it's the parents who can't handle another child getting a trophy to the exclusion of their precious son or daughter. I'll grant that especially while a child is young we must guard against too much emphasis on winning and losing, but that doesn't mean it should be non-existent. As a kid, dealing with winning and losing was very hard for me, so it's been an area I've specifically tried to address with my children. There's a right way to win that involves respect for your opponents and a recognition of teamwork. There's also a right way to lose that involves respect for your opponents and a recognition of teamwork. Learning this at a young age can prove invaluable as your child advances through life. That's why I was pleasantly surprised by an article today in the New York Times titled "Losing Is Good For You." See just an excerpt below:
"Having studied recent increases in narcissism and entitlement among college students . . .when living rooms are filled with participation trophies, it's part of a larger cultural message: to succeed, you just have to show up. In college, those who've grown up receiving endless awards do the requisite work, but don't see the need to do it well. In the office, they still believe that attendance is all it takes to get a promotion. . .When children make mistakes, our job should not be to spin those losses into decorated victories. Instead, our job is to help kids overcome setbacks, to help them see that progress over time is more important than a particular win or loss, and to help them graciously congratulate the child who succeeded when they failed."
So what do you think? Should everyone get a trophy?
