'Ask Debbie Sue'

Many female readers wrote to me with questions about dating a 'cheapskate.' Or, dating a man that criticizes everything about them. They wondered what they should do. A few women wrote about their dating experiences with men that couldn't find their wallet at the end of dinner. I haven't had anything like that happen in many years. I remember only one similar experience while dating in college.

We were friends and used to talk a lot after class. He wanted to go out for coffee. He seemed nice, so I told him about some free tickets I won to a movie premiere at a local theater. I invited him to join me. He asked me to pick him up. I drove to his apartment. From the minute he got in my car, he told me how to drive, where to park and where we were going after the movie. We got to the theater; he told me where HE wanted to sit and what HE wanted to eat for a snack. I didn't want anything. I was upset I asked him to join me. After we left the theater, he wanted to stop for a 'fast food' sandwich. He told me where to park and got out of the car and ran into the restaurant. He said he was 'very hungry.' I lost my appetite from his behavior. He walked in front of me in line to order his food. He ordered a hamburger, french fries and a soda.

After he got his tray and paid for his meal he turned around, looked at me and said, 'Aren't you getting anything?'

I replied, 'Yes, I'm getting OUT of here. Goodbye...'

One of my friends went on a date with a guy that invited her to dinner at a nice restaurant. After they sat down, they looked over the menu. The waiter brought bread and water to the table while they were deciding what to eat. She was hungry. She met him after work and thought they were having dinner together. When the waiter came back to take their order, her date said, 'We're just having bread and water.'

He ate the loaf of bread, drank three glasses of water and sat there for a couple of hours! He didn't offer her anything to eat. She left the waiter a nice tip. She never went out with him again.

Dear Debbie Sue, 'I'm dating a guy I met at a grocery store. He talked to me while I was shopping in the frozen food section buying some pizzas. He gave me his number. I gave him mine. He called, invited me to dinner the following day. I met him at the restaurant. He was staring at my clothes, my shoes, my hair, everything. Suddenly he says, 'Next time we go out you should wear your hair in a pony tail. You would look much better with your hair pulled back.' I didn't know what to say. This was our first date. Throughout dinner he continued to criticize everything. He didn't like my shoes. I was wearing high heels. He told me he thought I should wear a 'yellow sweater' next time we went out. He told me what to eat for dinner. I thought he was extremely rude on the first date. Yet, I'm attracted to him & would like to give it another try. What would you do? Would you go out with him again?' Sign me, 'Unsure'

Dear Unsure, Everyone is a bit nervous on the first date. But, your date was extremely rude & condescending. If this is the way he acts towards you on the first date, I can imagine how he would behave on the second date. It's entirely up to you if you want to give him another chance. Go ahead. But, for me personally, I wouldn't go out with him again. Perhaps you can speak to him first on the phone before you go out on the second date. Tell him that you're going to wear whatever YOU want on the date. Your going to style your hair the way YOU want & order the food YOU want . If he complains about it & insists that it's 'his way' only. Then tell him, 'It's MY way or the highway!' If you give this guy another chance & you're having dinner & he criticizes you again, get up & leave. Good luck to you!

Ladies, There are plenty of men out there that are gentlemen and know how to treat a lady. If you're not comfortable and he continues to 'forget' his wallet while you're on a date, just say 'Goodbye' and find a new man to be with. If your date feels the need to tell you how to dress, what to eat or anything else, think twice before going out again.

Until next time.. 'Keep Smiling!'

Debbie Sue
www.stillsingle.org

Send comments and questions to: debrasue-60076@msn.com

Join Debbie Sue and her friends for 'An Evening of Comedy, Music & Spoken Word' on June 11th at 'Let Them Eat Chocolate' 5306 N. Damon Ave in Chicago. 7:00 PM.