On the Beat With Chicago League of Lady Arm Wrestlers (CLLAW)

As I looked over the scheduled events at C2E2 2019, I saw the Chicago League of Lady Arm Wrestlers (CLLAW) was having a special event on Saturday afternoon. CLLAW has been on my radar for a while, but scheduling conflicts have always prevented me from attending one of their shows. This would be the perfect opportunity to get my first taste of the CLLAW action.

CLLAW's roots go back to a 2008 fundraiser in Charlottesville, VA. From the hugely popular reaction, it was clear that something special happened. The Chicago league joined the fun in 2009 and has been growing ever since.

Saturday's event started with emcee (or “Mistress of Ceremonialisms”) Harry Scaray explaining the rules. There would be a tournament, with 8 participants. Each match was a best “2-of-3” 20 second arm wrestling battle. If neither wrestler won a 20 second match, a tie or stalemate was called and the winner would be decided in a different manner. (I was unclear on what this would be, but from the fans around me, I realized it would be something interesting.)

Much like wresting and roller derby, the arm wrestlers had colorful names. The reigning champ was Elton Brawn. Other combatants included Gal Fieri, Aunt Nance, Amelia Earhurt and more funny (or punny) monikers. They also wore appropriate garb to match their name. Elton Brawn had a couple pairs of eyewear fitting her Captain Fantastic persona.

As we waited for the event to start, I talked to a couple fans. One fan was a newbie like me. The other fan was a veteran of several shows. The newbie asked if the action was real or staged. The vet said it was both, which didn't clear up anything.

It did tell me that CLLAW was doing this right. They had fans guessing. When you can suspend disbelief and be entertained, you are a happy fan. If you even halfway believe, you are hooked. I have a feeling CLLAW has hooked a lot of fans.

We know it is real in that there is a stage, arm-westling platform, arm-wrestlers, etc., but are the matches predetermined? In wrestling jargon, maybe the vet wanted to keep it “kayfabe,” but I felt he really wasn't sure.

As the start neared, I looked around and notice the room was nearly full. I'm only guessing, but I'd say around 200 people were in attendance. That far exceeded my expectations. As it turns out, the CLLAW event was one of the most attended special events all weekend.

Prior to the first match, “bets” (using CLLAWBux) were placed on each of the arm-wrestlers. After the match, a random draw was made from the winner bucket and the loser bucket. Prizes (some sillier than others) were awarded accordingly. Money raised goes to nonprofit organizations.

As the tournament progressed, two stalemates occurred. The best tie-breaker was a full body “rock, paper, scissors” battle. This is as amusing as it sounds. The two stand back to back and on a three count, they strike one of the three poses using their entire body.

The other tie-breaker was decided by a dance off between the two combatants. While this was entertaining, it's hard to beat full body “rock, paper” scissors,” but for the sake of variety, it worked well.

The championship match featured current champ Elton Brawn defending against Gal Fieri. Brawn won the first match. I thought for sure she would lose the next and win the last to retain her championship. Brawn did lose the second match, but also the third. Fieri was the new champ.

The fans went wild, as Fieri celebrated her win. She then donned the bedazzled CLLAW gloves and celebrated some more.

When the event ended, PR Director David Rosenberg offered me a chance for a picture with the whole CLLAW crew. I jumped (literally) at the chance, leaping onto the stage as a giddy fan.

The CLLAW event far surpassed my expectations on crowd and entertainment value. I went to see something different and to have a new thing to cover at C2E2. Honestly, I did not intend to stay for the shoe show. Once the show started, I didn't want to leave.

The show lasted about an hour. I don't know if Fieri will be recognized as the CLLAW champ going forward or if this was an exhibition. For the sake of this show, it didn't matter. For longterm storylines, the next full CLLAW show will provide that answer.

Also unanswered is how the CLLAW act plays out during a longer evening. I was highly entertained and intrigued during this one hour show, but does it have enough substance to keep me engrossed for 3 hours or so at a regular show? Of course, that will also be answered at the next regular CLLAW show which I plan on attending.

My best guess is these folks know how to put on a show and keep everyone entertained for a longer time. I'm sure there will be enough happening in addition to the matches

Speaking of that next CLLAW show, it is on July 27 at the Logan Square Auditorium Auditorium. It is a 21+ only show. I think that is more for bawdiness than outright extreme behavior, but I plan to find out at that show. If my schedule cooperates for once, I will be at that show and I will report back here to recap and hopefully answer some of the questions I have.

Until then, “Wrists up!” (Wow. I am already using the vernacular.) That's a phrase I learned from Harry Scaray, although she credits former emcee Rockke L. Squelch with coining it.