Beat a Cyberbully: Here’s How Parents Can Help

While remote learning during the COVID-19 pandemic lowered reported instances of bullying, parents fear that, for some students, going back to school will mean going back to being bullied.

“Bullying is something we worry about, especially with social media,” said Erin Hozey of her family of five in Mishawaka, Indiana.

Now 15 years after the inception of National Bullying Prevention Month in October, technology’s ever-greater presence in children’s lives has given bullying a new outlet. With just a click, cyberbullies can taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly, even reaching into the home via cellphone or computer. As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated and even suicidal.

What can parents do to protect their kids? Taking an interest in their children’s online world can make a difference, says the National Parent Teacher Association.

This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts. Instead, the federal stopbullying.gov site advises parents to watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby or reacting emotionally to what’s happening on their device.

For Erin Hozey and her husband Josh, that has meant being keenly aware of what “normal” looks like for their three kids, ages 18, 14 and 3.

“We spend time together so that we can tell when something is different or when their mood has changed,” said Josh.

Talking with kids openly — and often — helps too. “The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it,” UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.

To make sure there is no bullying taking place, the Hozeys periodically check on their kids. “We ask them directly how things are going in this regard. We find it’s easier for them to answer our question than for them to bring up the problem on their own,” said Josh. “We try to focus on being approachable and listening actively without reaction,” Erin added.

Beyond talking, listening and observing their kids, parents shouldn’t be afraid to make and enforce rules for online activities, experts say.

The Hozey children are allowed to play online games, but they are required to play them in the family room. “We are not constantly looking over their shoulders. We reassure the kids that we trust them and respect their privacy, but they have to stay within the boundaries we’ve set,” said Erin.

The parents cited tips and reminders they’ve considered together with their kids from free resources available on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

One of the Hozeys’ sons especially recommended one of the site’s short animated videos, “Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists.”

“I learned that if you’re being bullied, tell your mom or dad,” he said. “They know the best course of action.”

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