Top 5 Ways to Avoid "Secretary Butt"

Like many of you reading this, I spend the majority of my day sitting on my butt. The title doesn’t matter – secretary, executive assistant, project manager, computer programmer, editor; if you work in the corporate world, you’re most likely getting paid to sit.

Well, sit and eat if you have an office like mine. Why do we always have a constant stream of bagels, chips, and candy? As I am the secretary for my department, (read : department lackey) my desk is the designated “let’s hang around and eat stuff” area. I have it relatively easy, though. The employees in my department are realitvely health-conscious. God help my friends a few departments down – where there is literally a dozen different sugar-coated, salt-crusted, fat-injected goodies to chose from on a daily basis.

Keeping this in mind, I’ve started to look around the office and take mental notes on what to do and what not to do at work to keep me from looking like I get paid to sit on my butt.

I’ve come to one conclusion. The longer you’ve worked in this office – the bigger the butt. No joke.

Okay, okay. This might be a slight exaggeration, but reality is equally as terrifying. Last month I decided it was about time for a game-plan, and fast! Preferably before my rear-end starts sagging south … and east … and west.

Top 5 ways to Avoid Secretary Butt

1. MOVE: every hour, on the hour. I’ve been consciously making the effort to get up and take a quick lap of my building about once and hour. Not only does this give my rear-end a much-needed “lift” but it helps keep my hands and wrists from cramping up. Stretching and moving works wonders! If you can download programs to your computer, Google around for some alarm programs to remind you. I set my phone. This also gives me an opportunity to refill my water bottle to keep hydrated.
2. EMERGENCY SNACK STASH: This is huge. In efforts to avoid all those amazing unhealthy snacks, create a drawer of your own! I have an assortment of teas and almonds in my drawer. What do you have in yours? Being prepared is half the battle.
3. SNEAKY EXERCISE: Stand up during phone calls, do a quick 5-minute bicep/tricep curl routine with a bottle of water, use a pedal exerciser under your desk, heck – even squeezing your butt muscles on and off for a few minutes will help (and no one will notice.) Side note, is “butt kegels” a real phrase? Because I’m making it one, as of now. A few friends of mine suggested doing a quick set of lunges or squats when making a bathroom trip. What a hysterical but brilliant idea!
4. BAG LUNCH: As much as I may have good intentions to hit the salad bar at lunch, the burgers and cheese nuggets usually win. Packing a lunch not only saves you from temptation, but is wallet-friendly. If your office is like mine, we go out to lunch for birthdays, holidays, and “just for the hell of it” days. This used to totally stress me out until I realized this – most restaurants have their menu online (DUH!). Checking out the best option before hand (and convincing myself to order it) makes for a quick and easy decision come lunchtime.
5. DITCH SODA: Ask anyone you know that has quit the pop-party and they will tell you : you’ll see dramatic results in your weight very quickly. Start developing a taste for tea and your waistline will thank you. The lower amounts of caffeine and combination of antioxidants have been shown to affect the longevity of your life as well. Coffee is also a better choice, but not if you dump a cup of sugar and a pint of creamer. Check out Stevia, a natural sugar that comes in lots of crazy flavors. I live for the Vanilla Creme in some red tea. (Usually found in the health/organic section of your grocer)

Let’s get out there and tackle Secretary Butt together!

… I’m doing butt-kegels right now … can you tell? ;)