VETERANS DAY: Barnett Passed Before Reaching His Potential

Pvt. Charles Yi Barnett joined the U.S. Army at age 18 because he wanted to help others.

One of his greatest contributions, however, occurred before he enlisted when he helped his mother, Ipun "Yvonne" Dashiell, meet her future husband online.

It is that union with Mike Dashiell that has helped Yvonne handle the grief that she has faced since Barnett died in Iraq two years ago, one of the 5,710 soldiers who have perished in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. 

"He was my mama's boy. In a good way," Yvonne said. "Every day he said to me over 10 times, 'I love you, mom. You're the best.'"

But a mother's love was not enough to keep Barnett from joining the U.S. Army — like his biological father and grandfather before him.

"He told me, 'Mom, innocent people need the help. I want to help innocent people,'" Yvonne said.

The mother initially did everything she could to keep her son at home, scaring recruiters from the Air Force and Navy from her front doorstep. Once Charlie turned 18, though, he enlisted himself. He was simply taking after family members before him.

His oldest brother, Jason, 26, is in the Air Force and stationed in Washington state. He is soon going to be a father. "I'm going to be a grandmother," Yvonne bragged.

Other family members—one of Charlie's aunts, an uncle and his biological father—were all in the military.

That is how Yvonne met Charlie's dad, Ken Barnett, who was stationed in Korea and now lives in New Jersey. She moved to the United States in 1986, a year before Charlie's older brother, John, was born.

John said his younger sibling had a lot of potential.

"He was a goofy kid, smart as anything," said John, 23. "He was the smartest one out of all of us."

That Charlie never reached that potential hurts Yvonne most, especially since the two were so close.

When Dashiell was using Match.com several years ago, the South Korean native was not as comfortable with the computer as Charlie.

When she encountered Mike online, it was Barnett who would sit down with his mother and send most of the messages.

"He'd say, 'Mom, what do you want to say?' I would say it and he'd be done [typing,]" Yvonne said. "My three boys were pushing me to marry [Mike.]"

More than anything, they wanted their mother to be at peace.

"My children, they love him, they're very respectful of him," Yvonne said. "They tell me, 'You're happy, we're happy. You're not happy, we're not happy.'"

Mike Dashiell said that Barnett was closer to his mother than Jason, 26, and John. Thanks to her son's efforts Yvonne was not alone when the news of Charlie's death in a non-combat situation in Iraq arrived on Nov. 20, 2008.

"I'll never forget that night. We were getting ready to go to bed," Mike said.

It was close to 10:30 p.m. when a chaplain and sergeant knocked at the door with news of Charlie's death.

Yvonne was so devastated that she was in denial for about a year.

"I could never sleep, I cried every day. I could not go to work," Yvonne said. "I still feel like he's coming home."

There are days when a car pulls in the driveway and she looks out the window to see if it is her son, who would have turned 21 on April 21, and says, "Oh, maybe it's Charlie."

Although the pain lingers, Yvonne said she is better off than she was in the first year after his Nov. 20, 2008 death. Much of that has to do with the knowledge that Charlie achieved what he set out to do when he enlisted in the Army.

For weeks after her son's death, she received flags and letters in the mail. They came from congressmen and women in Maryland, New Jersey and even Texas, where Charlie was once stationed at Fort Hood. It was the handwritten letter from a Texas congressman that touched her most.

"It tells me I'm OK. He's not just dead. He died for this country," Yvonne said.

She said she has received encouragement from others, but that it does not always ease the pain.

"Most of the time no, because it makes me cry more," said Yvonne, who was thankful for the way the government has honored her son. "They did a very nice job for Charlie."

Above all else there are two things that keep Yvonne moving forward—her sons alive now, and the one she waits to meet again.

"I have to be strong because I have other children, too," Yvonne said. "One day I'm going to see [Charlie.]"

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In recognition of Veterans Day, Patch is honored to announce its partnership with the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, a five-star charity that provides financial, rehabilitation and transitional services to members of the United States Armed Forces and their families.

Established in 2000, the fund originally provided financial support to the dependents of service members who lost their lives while serving the nation. Since then, the fund has expanded its support of veterans by building state of the art centers for rehabilitating wounded warriors and service members suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injuries.

Service members and families touched by the Intrepid's efforts reside in our community, and we hope you will consider making a small donation to honor those that have sacrificed so much.

Please visit www.fallenheroesfund.org and join us in honoring our veterans today.