Trump Federal University Inauguration in Washington DC !

The new Trump Federal University campus at Capitol Hill will be inaugurated on January 20 and Toby Keith will perform songs from his “White Trash with Money” Album including “How you like me now, Who’s your Daddy, I Wanna talk about me, and Wish I didn’t know now What I didn’t know then”. Toby’s song “American Ride” is expected to become the School’s official song.

Affectionately known as FU, the Federal University campus inauguration at Capitol Hill will have all the pomp and circumstance of a real university with a Giant Trump-orange banner with their logo FU in bold letters and their mascot the Angry Bird with everyone singing the alma mater “So give a cheer for the F and U; America...FU!” and saluting with the official Angry Bird salute.

Trump said he loves the poorly educated and he had already planned to eliminate the Department of Education. He will now replace the DOE with a Trump University curriculum so all Americans will learn about our new world order! All American citizens are considered automatically enrolled in Trump University, fulfilling Trump’s promise that all Americans receive a free education!

Trump University has been so popular in Florida that Trump conferred an honorary BS degree to Attorney General Pam Bondi for her studies in Public Service Fraud and he made her headmistress of his transition team after she graduated Summa Cum Laude!

Before enrolling in Trump University’s FU, Attorney General Pam Bondi declared in September 2013 that the Attorney General’s Office would be joining with the New York Attorney General’s Office to pursue an investigation into Trump University. But 4 days later Pam Bondi received a personal check for $25,000 from Donald Trump; enough for a full scholarship to Trump University! Her first assignment in FU Public Service Fraud Studies must have been to learn about ethics violations because she suddenly lost all interest in that investigation into Trump University. And after completing that first assignment, her next assignment in Public Service Fraud Studies was apparently dodging the Florida Commission on Ethics for 16 months.

In fact, Trump University has been so successful in Florida that after realizing that Donald Trump was involved in 3,500 additional lawsuits, the University decided this was a wonderful opportunity to develop these lawsuits into a unique FU curriculum to teach students how the political and judicial process really work in America. The new program will provide a prelaw education for students and be called “Litigation in Education Studies” or LIES for short. It will be housed at the new LIE Academy in the Capitol in Washington DC for the convenience of Congress to be professors. The new academy will be called the Trump FU LIE Academy where students can major in Public Service Fraud with a minor in LIES. Go Trump University...FU!

(satire)