Moms Talk: When Your Child Asks What the Middle Finger Means

I have a scenario I'd like to run by you. Your 8-year-old daughter comes home from school and asks you what the middle finger means. You keep your cool, and say simply, "It's a sign of disrespect." You pat yourself on the back thinking, "Well, that's a mighty fine way to handle that situation. Go you!"

"Because the girls at school did it to the teacher when her back was turned," your daughter continues, squashing any hope you had of side-stepping that one. 

"Oh." You say breezily, trying not to show it's rattled you.

"You know kids. They like to try things out. I doubt they meant anything. But you MUST NEVER EVER DO IT! EVER! NEVER EVER EVER!"

"Okay. So what word does that mean? You know, the middle finger." 

And then you wonder: At what age and at what time do you discuss those words? The words that are just words and yet so much more. You know the words. They're the ones your child hears when she rides the metro into D.C., you're stopped at a stoplight with the windows rolled down, the older neighborhood kids walk by the front of your house.

You know, the ones that are just out there in the universe, hanging. After all, saying "ear muffs" only works when you know the curse words are coming.

So what, hypothetically (as of course, this is all hypothetical), would you do?

Knowing kids brains go a bit squirrely and they don't mean half of what they do or say anyway, would you call the teacher? Do you take names and put them on your mental list of kids your child is never allowed to play with? Do you brush it off? 

At what age do you say, "Honey, it means (bleep). Now what would you like for snack?"