After Teacher Murdered, Wilde Lake HS Principal Offers 4 Tips For Coping

COLUMBIA, MD — The principal at Wilde Lake High School said he was proud of his students, who arrived at school on Thursday to learn that one of their teachers had been killed.

Laura Wallen, 31, a history teacher at the high school in Columbia, had been found Wednesday in a shallow grave near Damascus, and her boyfriend was charged with first-degree murder.

"...I want everyone to know how very proud I am of our students–both current and former–for their outpouring of support for Ms. Wallen, her family, and the Wilde Lake staff throughout this difficult time," Wilde Lake Principal Rick Wilson said in a note to the community on Thursday, Sept. 14.

After Wallen was reported missing after Labor Day, her former students distributed fliers in an attempt to help locate her and created the hashtag #BringWallenHome to bolster hope for her safe return.

Wallen was four months pregnant and a beloved teacher at the school, where she was voted senior class teacher of the year in 2016.

After police announced that Wallen's body had been found and her boyfriend was charged with murder, students pledged to wear black in her honor.

"They have honestly helped buoy the spirit of the adults and are now helping us find some small measure of peace," Wilson wrote. "Please give them a big hug and sincere thank you from me tonight."

Support staff was on hand at Wilde Lake on Thursday as students, some who had not yet heard the tragic news, arrived at school. (Get news alerts from Columbia Patch and like us on Facebook.)

Teachers led what Wilson said were "developmentally appropriate discussions" in classrooms and helped students identify adults they could talk to at home.

"Whenever there is a death such as this, we are all struck by a wide range of emotions and a deep sense of loss," Wilson said. "...these emotions can be particularly difficult for young people to understand."

Humor, anxiety, sleep disturbances, fears and appetite loss are among possible reactions, Wilson said.

He offered four ways parents can help children cope, guidelines shared verbatim below (read Wilson's complete letter to parents at the end of the article):

• "Listen to your child’s story – Let your child know that you are available to answer any questions. You may not have all the answers to their questions, but they will benefit from your attention. Provide simple, accurate information in response to questions.

• "Encourage your child to express his or her feelings – Talk about your own feelings. Don’t be afraid to cry in his or her presence and share your own loss experiences. It is okay to cry together and hold each other.

• "Talk to your child about your personal value system around death and loss – Discuss your family’s personal and/or religious beliefs about death. Your child may be particularly anxious about the sudden realization that death ultimately happens to everyone and that death can come without warning.

• "Support your child and be patient with his or her feelings in responding to this loss – Spend extra time tonight to be with your child discussing and processing the day’s events."

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Full text of the letter from Principal Rick Wilson to families on Sept. 14, 2017

September 14, 2017

Dear Wilde Lake Parents, Guardians, and Caregivers,

I am writing to update you on the tragedy involving Ms. Laura Wallen, Wilde Lake High School history teacher, and to make you aware of the supports provided to our students throughout the school day. Yesterday evening, the Montgomery County Police Department reported that Ms. Wallen was found deceased in Damascus, Maryland. The police also announced the arrest of her boyfriend who has been charged with murder. At this time, the police have not indicated any motive in the case.

Members of our Wilde Lake High School Student Services Team and the Howard County Public School System Crisis Intervention Team were available today to provide support and guidance for our students and staff during this difficult time. Teachers led developmentally appropriate discussions in each of our classrooms as the news of Ms. Wallen’s death was shared with our students. Staff also helped students identify adults they could talk to at home and/or at school if they have questions or are having a difficult time managing this sad news. School staff contacted the parents, guardians, or caregivers of all students who received direct supports.

Whenever there is a death such as this, we are all struck by a wide range of emotions and a deep sense of loss. However, these emotions can be particularly difficult for young people to understand. Situations such as these may create a variety of reactions, including sleep disturbances, temporary loss of appetite, anxiety, or fears about personal health and safety or the health and safety of family members. Young people may also use humor to deal with their feelings, and although this may seem unusual, it is a common coping mechanism.

Some suggestions for dealing with concerns you may have about your child are provided below. You can also contact our counseling staff at 410-313-6968 if you have further questions or concerns about your child’s reaction to this sad news.

• Listen to your child’s story – Let your child know that you are available to answer any questions. You may not have all the answers to their questions, but they will benefit from your attention. Provide simple, accurate information in response to questions.

• Encourage your child to express his or her feelings – Talk about your own feelings. Don’t be afraid to cry in his or her presence and share your own loss experiences. It is okay to cry together and hold each other.

• Talk to your child about your personal value system around death and loss – Discuss your family’s personal and/or religious beliefs about death. Your child may be particularly anxious about the sudden realization that death ultimately happens to everyone and that death can come without warning.

• Support your child and be patient with his or her feelings in responding to this loss – Spend extra time tonight to be with your child discussing and processing the day’s events.

Finally, I want everyone to know how very proud I am of our students – both current and former – for their outpouring of support for Ms. Wallen, her family, and the Wilde Lake staff throughout this difficult time. They have honestly helped buoy the spirit of the adults and are now helping us find some small measure of peace. Please give them a big hug and sincere thank you from me tonight.

At the time of this letter, funeral arrangements for Ms. Wallen have not been finalized. We will share this information based on her family’s wishes once the details are confirmed. I am certain that you will join us in keeping the Wallen family in your thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks ahead as they continue to find strength in their faith while grieving the loss of Laura.

Sincerely,
Rick Wilson
Principal

Image via Shutterstock.