On Marriage...

It seems that marriage is being talked about everywhere lately. Our house is no exception.

My six-year-old, for example, has informed me several times that she wants to marry her one-year-old brother. This came up again recently when he was being his incredibly cute self and asking her for hugs.

I told her, not for the first time, that you can't marry your brother. She is almost seven. She is a smart girl. But she thinks this is a really dumb rule.

Why can't you marry your incredibly cute brother who gives you hugs?

I explain this very thoroughly, in a way that I know she will understand. Well, uh, because he's your brother. And, besides that, we just don't.

The end.

My three-year-old frequently complains that he was not at our wedding. He sees this as a great injustice. He looks at our wedding picture longingly, and tells me, each time he does, that it's not fair that Daddy got to get married, and I got to get married, but he didn't get to get married, too.

I tell him that he can get married when he's older. As long as he finds someone who loves his mommy as much as he does and will never try to convince him that the wife's family automatically takes precedence over the husband's when it comes to birthdays, holidays, and visits with grandchildren.

For some reason, this doesn't appease him. He wanted to get married with us. And specifically, he wants to marry me. He very explicitly told me this just the other day.

"When I grows up mommy, I'm gonna marry you".

I tell him that he can't marry his mommy, which to a three-year-old is the equivalent of telling him that the world is officially all out of candy. Forever.

"But why can't you marry your mudder?"

He informs me that it's just not fair.

Sorry, pal. Such is life. You should probably get used to it now.

Since we're on the subject, I ask my one-year-old who he wants to marry. He looks at me, appears to think about this, and says,  "Daddy".

Hmmm, pretty sure that one's not allowed either.

My three-year-old has been thinking about all of this, and informs me that if he can't marry me, he's going to marry his sister.

She quickly nixes this.

"No! I can't marry you! You're my brother!"

She gives me a look that says, Phew...thank God for that rule.

Sorry, kids.

Whoever gave you the impression that you could marry whoever you wanted obviously didn't give you the whole story.

You can't marry your mother, your father, your sister, or your brother.

Aside from that, I don't really care who you marry. As long as they agree to my schedule for all future birthdays, holidays, and visits with grandchildren, before you walk down the aisle.

And I want it in writing.