Why Do Residents Avoid Attending HOA Meetings? (A Tough Topic)

Introduction: One goal of these articles is to reveal the lived experiences and perceptions of our neighbors. I intend this article to be helpful to members of our board of directors, not to be sarcastic or harmful. You are an elected official. You should know how your constituents perceive your actions. --S.S.L.

An HOA Leader's One Perspective

Our HOA president often explains that if residents have a complaint, all they have to do is come and talk to the board of directors. He expresses puzzlement as to why any person who has a concern would not show up and speak at an HOA board meeting, held the second Monday of each month at 7:00pm ET on Zoom.

"All you have to do is come and talk to us," is what he says.

"All you have to do is come and talk to us," is also what he hears. On one level, his 11-word statement is very rational, and its meaning is plain and clear.

HOA Residents' Many Perspectives are Different

We wish human communication were that simple. It is not. In this multicultural community, these are some of the meanings that Quail Valley residents give to these same 11 words ...

"All you have to do is learn a whole new language, English, and speak it very well."

"All you have to do is arrange with your boss to leave work in the middle of the Monday evening shift, burn up 2 hours of your vacation time, and attend the HOA meeting. And please do that again next month, too."

"All you have to do is overcome your fear of speaking in public to a room of strangers."

"All you have to do is to defend your home in a trial-like setting where the officials who you need to convince are hoping to balance the HOA budget by fining people like you."

"All you have to do is tell your three children to do their homework and get themselves to bed as you sit still for an hour or two in front of a computer, waiting your turn to speak."

"All you have to do is take this very unclear property violation that you've received in the mail and ask people who you have never met to explain to you what it means."

"All you have to do is buy a computer and learn to use Zoom, or just use your cell phone, and speak to a room full of strangers who you cannot see. Figure out how to unmute."

"All you have to do is suspend disbelief and imagine that the men on this board of directors are different from the guys at work. Maybe they will pay attention to what a woman says, to what her experiences are, although that seems to be a rare thing. There are some women on the board too. Maybe they will take the time to understand what you mean. On the other hand, perhaps they wear Pravda."

"All you have to do is take what you just said here at this meeting and tell it again to the property manager tomorrow ... who will tell you that your file is now with the debt collector ... and the person who answers the phone there will then tell you that only the HOA board of directors have the power to remove the original citation, the property violation cited against you. So we will see you again in a month, and the month after that too. Good luck. And ... by the way ... various fines and fees do not go away, even if the shutter is repaired."

Measurable Results ... if We would Bother to Measure Them

Is it any wonder, then, that people who have both college degrees and dexterity in debate (in spoken English) rarely become the target of multiple-hit property violations and debt attorney harassment? That does happen, but not very often. Such people usually experience the HOA inspections as a minor nuisance that comes and goes like a winter cold, once a year or so. That's how I felt for many of the 21 years we've lived in Quail Valley. For example, my family was told we needed to fill out an official Architectural Change Form to get permission to put up a picnic tarp in our backyard for a week in the summer. I ignored that absurd dictate. I suffered no consequence for my disobedience. I'm white.

In contrast, the homeowner whose case file gets handed to the debt collector is likely to be a man who speaks English as a second language, a woman with less than a college degree, or anybody who does not excel at rhetoric and advocacy using spoken English, before an audience, on Zoom, after the sun has set. Maybe that is the point of the HOA system in Maryland, to boost an educated elite and disadvantage everyone else. If that is the point, then let's say it out loud--but nobody should call such a system "fair," or "just," or "not discriminatory."

Is the Quail Valley HOA treating everyone fairly? Perhaps the HOA should report these data annually: the age, sex, language ability, level of education, and ethnicity of homeowners handed over to the debt collector and/or threatened with a lien. Then we'd have some numbers to compare and contrast with the brief ethnographic report provided above.

** ***** Resources on Racism in the 21st Century that got recommended to me ***** **

Feel free to add a comment after this article, and to recommend other resources. The first two citations are about much more than policing. They are about America.

CHOKEHOLD: POLICING BLACK MEN, a book by Paul Butler, professor at Georgetown University Law Center and former prosecutor.

THE END OF POLICING, a book by Alex S. Vitale, professor of sociology and coordinator of the Policing and Social Justice Project at CUNY.

MY GRANDMOTHER'S HANDS, a book by therapist Resmaa Menakem; subtitle, "Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies."

A SOLDIER'S STORY is a great movie about a murder committed on an Army base during World War II. It's also a play that was performed in D.C. and on Broadway. If the concept of racial self hatred is new to you, then please watch this movie. We all have a bit of that, whatever our ethnic background, and as we become aware of it, we can avoid using it as a motivation for our behavior.

13th, a documentary that gets its title from the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, is one of dozens of excellent documentaries on the topic of racism in American life that are available in the year 2021.

NAACP's top-ten list of recommended movies, fiction and nonfiction.

WHITE FRAGILITY, a book by Robin DiAngelo, subtitle, "Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism."

EQUITY WORKSHOPS FOR BOARDS OF DIRECTORS, from the Strategic Dialogue Group. www.strategicdialoguegroup.com
Deanna Kuhney is a racial equity educator, trainer, and curriculum developer. She is especially skilled in facilitating “safer” spaces for participants to engage in courageous conversations around diversity, equity, and inclusion. She has worked with school districts, communities, non-profits, and corporations for the past 20 years. Some include Montgomery County Public Schools, DC Public Schools, East Hartford, Connecticut Public Schools, Leadership Montgomery, IMPACT Silver Spring, and CaringMatters. She holds a B.A in Business Administration, Pace University, Masters in Contemporary Communications, Notre Dame of Maryland University, and a post-graduate certificate in educational and equity from McDaniel College. She is also a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
John Landesman has more than 20 years of experience developing and organizing dialogue-to-change programs that address the effects of racism and racial barriers. John has developed numerous curriculum guides, organizing manuals, dialogue formats, and facilitator trainings that help many different kinds of organizations develop the relationships and structures necessary for long-term change. John was formerly the director of Community Assistance at Everyday Democracy, a national organization that builds the capacity of organizations to address issues such as systemic racism, police/community relations, and education reform. He was the founding coordinator of the Montgomery County Public Schools Study Circles Program, an initiative that has engaged over 15,000 students, parents, staff, and district leaders, and the founding director of Interfaith Works’ Community Dialogue to End Racism.

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Read various Chapters of "Living on Cuckoo Court" at tinyurl.com/CuckooCourt.
Read about condo and HOA "dysfunction, corruption, and abuse" all across America at IndependentAmericanCommunities.com.