Although We Look Different From When We Were Forty-Nine, Our Heart Is A Whole Lot Stronger And Clearer Elita Sohmer Clayman

Although we look different than we did when we were forty-nine years old, the important factor is that our heart is a whole lot clearer and stronger. Trophies are nice, but you are the “gorgeous one” How nice, this phrase is sent to me by my dancing pal and email friend Steven Behr, Sr. from Steilacoom, Washington. A few words can make one feel very good and much better than before it was read.

Today was brace day as I wrote in the former article the other day. The initial brace for my right knee was very cumbersome and hit my other leg hard because it was so thick and cumbersome. I told the orthopedic doctor all of this through my regular doctor and he said I should come up to their second office and another young woman was able, I think, to solve my problem. Her name is Effie Doss and she is a  Certified Athletic Trainer and a Certified Orthotist. That means as far as being an orthotist, she is trained in fitting and supplying these braces for all kinds of ailments. She listened to me when I told her I did not want the other brace from last Thursday when it was given to me and charged to my insurance. True, I wore it for only two hours, but it made it more difficult to walk and move my legs and feet, because it was so thick and annoying .Effie did her job efficiently and helped me put on the new brace and made sure it was not too tight and I am really grateful for her competency in doing this for me. She has been at this position for over ten years and does her job well.

She brought out another one and this is a pull on thing made up of thick cotton and has rigid ridges to hold it on. She showed me how to wear it and I wore if for four hours and when I took if off for the nighttime hours, lo and behold, I think and I pray this is so; I felt a little bit better and in not so much ankle, knee and calf pain. So far for almost three hours upon taking it off my leg, I think (thank God) I am feeling a smidgen better. Oh how happy that feeling is and I hope tomorrow when I wear it longer, that every day, the time will expand and I hope the pain will recede.

I was told if this one does not work, they will try having a custom one made for me and maybe that one will help. Else, the next and final step is a knee replacement operation and all that it entails.

I will try real hard to be able to continue on wearing the new brace and hopefully I will have success. Who knows, I could feel so good, I will go out and take some dance lessons in preparation for my dancing in a competition next June. This June, I was what is called, an observer or communicator.

I went to the competition on the last evening of a one day competition starting at 8 am and lasting till over midnight. Everyone who entered got a chance to dance in between the different categories and dance events. I sat and watched them because my leg was aching then and I was there and wanted to see the new and younger dancers. It felt wonderful to see other dancers competing and doing what I did at their ages and seeing some senior dancers doing what I want to be accomplishing, soon again

This was a unique position that I earned and it was a fun event being an observer and then writing a column all about my thoughts in being there.

As we look back on photos of our self, I wonder do we see, the real us then or what we think we looked like then. Now when we see a photo of our self, do we see the difference or think we are the same?

When my husband went to different reunions from the high school, he knew lots of the men there. Now a few weeks ago, he went to his sixty fourth reunion. Many of the men are now gone and the ones remaining that came all live in Maryland. Of course, they are all looking older and yet they still get together to reminisce and sing the old high school song. They come together more often now as they are aging and do not wait for ten year or five year timetables. Sometimes, my husband tells me that this one or that one looks old. Of course, they are all getting old and it is wonderful, that they continue to meet again.

Pictures create memories and thank goodness for them. They carry on the tradition of life and they are good reminders of what was, against what is. When I married fifty-two years ago, there was a new thing called Three D photography. You could buy slides of the whole wedding and a view finder and slip the slides one by one into the viewer. When you looked at the slide, it was as if was happening now and the picture stuck out and you could almost touch the flowers and wedding cake and the people at the tables were like they were alive. I must have bought about one hundred slides and every year, around anniversary time, I pull them out and look at them. Most of the guests are gone now and when I see Mom and Dad and my brother, it is as if they are alive. Now of course, there are videos of the whole event and that is very lovely too. Pictures recreate the moments of these precious times.

I sent my friend Steven Behr in Washington State a picture of me from twenty-nine years ago when I danced with my teacher Laurence E. Miller of Maine, at a competition in Florida. Here I was then, dark brown hair, forty-nine years old, no aching knees, no bunions or hammertoes on my feet, standing straight and tall and performing and winning trophies. He looked at the photo via email which he said did not come across as clearly as when I sent it. He said as quoted above “as we look differently now than we looked at forty-nine, it is our heart that is a lot clearer and stronger.”

A true statement coming from his heart to mine. We have never met but we have a bonding and it is over the sport or hobby of ballroom dancing. He teaches dancing there now and still is employed as a wellness person to help people to continue on being healthy and he practices prevention techniques and gives them information. Prevention is a big factor now in health and if everyone stopped smoking that would be a prevention aspect. When I am going into or out of a building that houses as its tenants many doctors and dentists, I see many of their employees outside for a few minutes smoking. It is amazing to me that they work in health related offices and businesses and they smoke. They know it is not good for them, their co-workers or the patients to smell their smoking scents on their clothing, and yet they still do it.

Years ago, my gastroenterologist had to fire a lady who worked for him because the other employees said her odor from smoking and her clothing from smoking were choking them in the office. They did not want her coat in winter time hung next to their coats, because of  the odor on it.They did not want her eating with them in their lunchroom, because when she sat near them, she reeked from smoke even though she was clean in her clothing and her looks.  A friend of mine goes to a dentist and one of the dental assistants, a lovely young woman, runs out about four times a day and takes a quick smoke. When she comes back, she smells of that smoke and if she is assisting the dentist, many of the patients request she not be his assistant, because they do not want her touching them or the dental instruments.

The dentist abides by the patients’ wishes and my friend wonders how the dentist survives being around her all day. My uncle Julius died of emphysema which he got from smoking and also being an upholsterer. Of course, in those days, it was not known of the terrible dangers of smoking and second hand smoking too. Plus his job and the inhaling of the dust in reupholstering factories, gave him a double dose of bad environmental dust and that finished him off at age almost sixty.

We cannot change our looks as we age, but we can handle our life with lots of prevention attitudes and help. If we want to live longer and be healthier, than we should adhere to more prevention ideas and try to adapt them and modify our lives with better eating habits and health tidbits. That does not mean you cannot have once in a while, a piece of delicious chocolate cake, a bowl of yummy ice cream or a corned beef sandwich.

It does mean that we should eliminate smoking which is hazardous to our health, exercise even if moderately and when we look at our now photos, we can still see the prettiness in our face or the handsomeness too and even though we have aged and do not look like we did at forty-nine, we can still feel healthy enough to try and act like maybe fifty-nine when we are in our seventies. We will be able to act that way because we are taking better care of our self and still be as women “gorgeous” for our age.

Gorgeous is a nice adjective and that is what we should still shoot for. Our heart is clearer and stronger as Steven says, but our outside view can also be gorgeous if we stop doing things that deter our living a longer and healthier life, like not smoking, not exercising and eating too much of food that is not excellent for our bodies. Now and then, we can indulge and the rest of the time we should indulge in healthful days. I have a friend in Florida that wrote me she turned seventy-six a few days ago and feels as if she is fifty. That is quite an accomplishment, feeling a difference in her age of about twenty-six years. I know she believes that and it is probably, because she practices healthy lifestyles.

Tonight, we ate some chocolate ripple ice cream and a doughnut to celebrate my seventy-eighth birthday last Thursday. Then I was not feeling too well because of the aching right knee. Today I feel better with my new brace, which is a temporary one and if it works out, I will be dancing again.  All of my mind will be concentrating on how much fun I am having and that I am back where I am always happy- ballroom dancing. Find your own happiness by doing what you love and adhere to the health rules of doing the right things for your own body. You will still look gorgeous and or handsome. Try it; you will be so happy you did.