Because I Love Them And Customer Care

Rosamarie Simpson from Howard County, wrote me that she and her husband dance every week on a Saturday night even on the nights they do not feel like going. They push themselves, dress up and get in the car. Once, she said they are at the studio, everything melts away that has gone wrong that week either at home, with the relatives, with the children and at work. They are in their oasis of good music, great times, light snacks and movement of their bodies.

When they come home, they are delirious with the knowledge that they have accomplished something that is beneficial for their minds and souls along with their sore feet. Many write me the same things as Rosamarie says in her email note. It is as if we are in a different world when we dance. We rarely know the people well that we associate with at the dance, yet they are our special dancing friends.

When my son was Bar Mitzvah over thirty-three years ago, we had a lovely dinner and dance in his honor. We specifically learned to dance right before the event because I wanted to be able to get up and have fun at this occasion. Dance we did and have been doing that at many events including my daughter-in-law’s two brother’s weddings along with my son and her wedding almost eleven years ago. Now her younger  sister married  two months ago. I always told her since I know her, which is for twelve years,when my son married her sister, that I ‘would dance at her wedding.’  That we did and it was a very nice feeling to be on the dance floor once again. I kept my promise to her.

Rafe and Cyndi are a young couple from Hunt Valley and they tell me that after the kids are put to sleep and they may be tired from work and home duties, they take every night thirty minutes to practice what they learned the previous week in their dance class of ten people. That is why they are doing excellent dancing because they practice the steps immediately. My husband and I use to do that  thirty-three years ago when we came home from a dance lesson on a Tuesday night at the studio. In those days a private lesson cost less then twenty dollars and if you bought ten at a time, they were 18.75 each which  was still a lot of money for a young couple. We would not go out to eat as often to a restaurant because we wanted to encourage our minds, feet and heart to dance. We would take the children out to a family style restaurant because they loved the hot dogs, hamburgers and fries but instead of going out ourselves, we put the money towards a weekly dance lesson. Everyone has their priority on how to spend money for leisure. Some women spend it on two hundred dollars blouses or skirts, some spend it on expensive jewelry, others save it for a rainy day. Now days, most people have to watch their money to make ends meet.If someone wants a lesson, they can take a group lesson which costs about 10-15 dollars and they can do well learning with other people in the class and it is a more economical way to learn and to save money by not taking a private lesson. This is fine and many couples love being with other folks in the class;usually at least 12-15 people. You make friends and get to dance with others rather than always with your spouse or friend.

This was our happiness, our purpose for a social life, our guide to learning in our forties and when Mom came to babysit on Saturday nights, we went dancing. In those days everyone smoked and the place was quite smoky and the owner herself reeked from cigarette smoke. Eventually, she was forced to put the smokers in a separate room, because the dancers rebelled at sitting next to people that blew smoke in their face,as they were trying to dance etc..

There was one lady named Mamie who finally was told off by me. I said “Mamie,we did not come here to smell your smoke, and we came to dance.” She looked at me like I was crazy and this long before smoking was banned in restaurants, offices and halls. She would huff and puff (literally) from the smoking and eventually passed on due to lung problems.

The dance studio is your haven away from home and should be a happy, clean and fresh air type place with no smokers destroying the air and making it hard for the dancers to breathe and dance peacefully.No one is allowed to smoke in dance studios now and that is a very healthy environment to dance and have fun.

Shakespeare said in Sonnet 144 (this the interpreted version, not the exact words)

“I love two people. One comforts me and the other makes me despair like two spirits,both constantly point me in two different directions.” We can say that about our dancing activities. One aspect of dancing comforts me and hugs my heart into feeling peaceful. The other makes me not despairing, but uncomfortable, meaning people sometimes say or do difficult things and that makes me discouraged and even though I care for them, I love the other more. So we gravitate to the love of what we call dancing and what it does for our spirit and move away from someone who tries to put us down and makes us sad.

There are many people out there, even some in our family who thrive on trying to put us down and say disparaging things to us even though they act like they are saying it for our own good.

What they are really doing is trying to lift themselves up at our expense and make us feel not too happy at the moment whereas we, who are avid dancers can always find it in our heart to encourage and inspire new people into dancing and we compliment them and assure them that they are doing well and make them smile. When we give a simple pleasurable remark, we show that we are kind, caring, and compassionate and to encourage someone who is unsure of themselves is to compliment our self, that we are dear souls, who know how to enlighten others with our knowledge and decency.

I had an aunt like that. Her daughter who was a year younger than me, she came over one night and said “it is time you got married, Elizabeth is getting married.” I replied “I will get married when it is time and I meet the right one. Your daughter getting married has nothing to do with my life or my marriage.” Good for me, I spoke up when it needed to be done.She said not a word again and the irony of it was that Elizabeth and Mark divorced after twenty-five years and Jerry and I have been married for 51.5 years.

Some people are like they are two people. One person is the pleasant person who comes off as being so decent and the other side of them is the repugnant individual who says what they think without decency and they believe it is proper to be that way.There is no need to be that way.Let them be two people,one who is kind, decent and approving and if necessary, the other one who is also the same who never hurts your feelings or says a nasty thought and who is happy if you attain something wonderful, even if they have not done that yet.I know a very homely lady who has been married twice and divorced twice.She has the demeanor of a person who thinks highly of herself and she puts on this façade of being a very important person in her job and socially. Actually, she has a menial position, but to give her credit, she plays it up as if she was very highly skilled and when she talks to you, she is two people. One who she really is and the other who she wants to become. You can almost admire her because she really believes she is the second person and this keeps her happy. I have a friend who was an assistant manager of a large business. He was treated  in a very disrespectful manner by the higher up management even though everybody including the clients and the other employees knew he was quite honorable and efficient. He finally left and took what some might call a step or two down in that business world. The fabulous thing is that he is so mentally happy,smiles a lot and does not hate to go to work, because here now, he is treated with respect and confidence.When he leaves work after many long shifts, he is finished, he does not have to carry the burdens of his position home and do work at home and dislike the thought of returning to the job the next day.

He will live longer, be healthier and most of all he is more content. So the name of the position does not matter,it matters only that he is fulfilled in his new job and that is more of a bonus than a few extra dollars in his paycheck. So now, he is not two people, he is one person and both his social and business life make him a satisfied person.When I called the other day, to a credit card company to check on something on my bill that was not mine, the voice said press one for a customer care relationship person. That is a nice title for a person answering the phone to help you. Customer care relationship can be a nice slogan for all of us in life. Substitute the word customer to a word like delightful care relationship person and then we have a great individual in our life who is delightful, caring and related to us by being a decent human being in all dealings with us, whether family, friends or casual acquaintances.Then you have two people, a caring one and a delightful one and we are the winners.

Dancing is like two people. One the inspiring soul and one who is inspired. May we always be galvanized and also encourage others to reach the peak of their ability,to motivate and to give rise to build their life to higher levels.Then, we will be two people, both of us reaching for the stars and being shining examples of goodness on this earth right now. We will be delightful,caring and related and the two people we use to be will be all in one important,helpful and content.Now, there is one spectacular individual and that will sustain us for our lifetime.We will be so ecstatic at our new accomplishment, we will be related to happiness. As little Ethan, my six year old grandson said one day when his mom asked him why he was so happy when Grammie (me) and Grandpa (Jerry) came to visit, he said “because I love them.” Because I love them can be our next slogan, because we are loved, we can return love to others.