Look Forward Now,Not Back And Be Safe Elita Sohmer Clayman

When I was about twelve, we all tried roller skating in a roller rink indoor place. You had to rent the shoes, when I think back, who wants to walk in another’s shoes? Unless you were well to do, that is what everyone did.  When Dad died, he had many pairs of shoes; the thought is no one should wear another’s footwear. Mom did donate it to the Goodwill, but she was not happy doing that. We did feel it would be a mitzvah (good deed) to do that and hopefully some poor person got to wear these shoes and benefitted from Mom not throwing them into the garbage can.

So we roller skated in these shoes and we had fun doing that for many weeks and then everyone tired of it and we switched to bowling. I was not very good at that and soon switched to knitting. It became the rage of the teenage girls to knit argyle patterned sox and every girl said it was for their boyfriend, though really it was for our brother. My brother had about a dozen pairs of them and he did not even like them. We continued to knit them until our brothers said no more.

Then we turned to knitting sweaters and I was real competent at that and everyone had a sweater. Dad, my brother Herbert and Mom. After about six sweaters each, I turned to knitting Elita a coat. It really was beautiful, but I never wore it, because it was bulky and it made me look fat. No teens, even then wanted to look fat when they were slim.

Then we got television when I was fifteen, our very own set for the whole family. Just imagine now, everyone watching the same program. We would decide what we were viewing that night, each person from the four of us had a say. We voted and the most amount for a certain show won and everyone watched it and eventually, when we did not like the choice, we went up to our room and did what we wanted.

Now there is a set in practically each room of homes and everyone in the family watches the shows they desire. Back then, we could barely afford the one set, so it had to be viewed by everyone. We had only one phone then and in the beginning, you got it cheaper by the month, if two families shared the same number, except the last number was a letter. The number was Madison 6879 J for us and for the other person, who you did not know, his number was Madison 6879 M. The J had one or two rings, if it was for you, the M had three or four rings if for them. You usually had to pick it up for your home for two rings. If you were in another room and it rang four rings, you assumed it was for them. It was very complicated and very uncomfortable because if you picked it up to use the phone for an outgoing call, and M was talking, you heard their conversation. It was not very private or nice.

Finally, Dad said, forget it, we will scrimp on some other item, we needed our own line and he was billed about two dollars a month more. Two dollars then was a lot of money.

Then we knew we were on the way to being ‘rich’ because we had a television set and a private phone number. We look back and see how contented we were with simple things, which were not simple; they were very necessary items we desired. Dad finally bought a car when I was fifteen and it cost five hundred dollars for what was called then a used car. Now they are called pre-owned. Wow, we knew then we were finally ‘rich.’

When I look back at these plain unadorned days of our lives, I wonder did we ever yearn for a lot for things others had, that we did not have. I remember in junior high school, we brought our lunches. There was a girl whose dad owned a big restaurant and it was known for its delicious huge pieces of desserts. Every day, she bought one to school and shared it with her best friends. You knew you were in with the in crowd if she offered you a piece of the huge and fancy dessert. When I saw that, I had Mom bake me a delicious chocolate cake that she was known for in the family; and I started every Friday to bring a piece of it to school, so I was like the well to do girl sharing her dessert. I shared it with my friend Myra and she on the alternate week, had her mom bake a pie and she brought a huge piece in and she and I shared it. The other girls noticed it and asked where we bought it. Myra and I proudly said that our moms were gourmet cooks and bakers and this was made by them. Once, the rich girl asked me, could she have a tiny piece of my cake to see if it was as good as her dad’s restaurant cake. At first, I wanted to say that you never offered me a sliver of your desserts, why should I give you a piece of mine. I did not say that, because I was a nicer person. She tasted my mom’s chocolate cake and declared out loud that Elita’s mom’s cake was as good as her dad’s cake.  I guess she thought I would be thrilled to have my mom’s dessert equaling her restaurant’s famous cake. By then, Myra and I laughed the whole thing off, because we knew our home baked desserts were tastier and even prettier in appearance.

When my kids were growing up, everyone tried to outdo the other ones when they threw birthday parties for the children. One summer, it became the style that fried chicken was served at the parties. I fried chicken pieces for two days before the party until it took me about a month to even be able to look at a piece of chicken without wanting to shut my eyes not to see it.Others had bowling parties for the kids, I did too. You had to go along with what was the style of the parties for that season. Once, I had Mr. Walt, a magician come and that cost fifty dollars for his appearance and that too was a lot of money for a party plus the food and the favors and balloons.

Now my grandchildren go to parties and one of them had an entertainer or magician, but no food. The only food was the birthday cake sliced up and some ice cream. They cut out the fried chicken, pizzas and give entertainment and dessert. However, their desserts are not home baked like Mom did, they are bought at the supermarket or bakery which is easier on the moms. Times have changed from my days thinking a private phone was the ultimate in richness or a nineteen inch television was the utmost happiness. Everything is electronic, I type my stories and articles on the computer Word system and submit them to my editor and usually in less than an hour, they are published and being read by the public online. There is word spell and check and even so, sometimes they do not advise the use of the right word or the correct spelling. We did not even have an ordinary typewriter in those days. Who could even afford that?

When I first started to write for Amateur Dancers magazine, in 1990, I handwrote them, mailed them to the editor and waited to hear by phone, if it was delivered to him and it was acceptable for publication.

I use to think that Dad lived in the Middle Ages, now I know we all lived in them too because we had none of these gadgets or fancy phones. We were lucky to have one phone in the whole house that was ours only and no neighbors could hear our thoughts on them. Now everyone is walking with a phone to their ear even in the supermarket. We all pull out our phones to see if we have received an email or we use them to text. When I got the text feature about eight months ago, I knew I was ‘rich.’

So being rich is different now than in the 1940’s, however we are all rich, if we are here using these items and benefitting by having instant communication with our friends and family. It is almost a necessity for keeping in touch through email, text, phones and computers. It kind of makes us feel safer and perhaps we are because we can get in touch with them easier.

As my three year old son told my mom, forty-four years ago, that we were richer than her, because we had three bathrooms and she had one. He only meant and was wondering how she managed with one bathroom because he grew up with three.

It is what we have now that rules our lives and perhaps that is OK because there is safety in communicating with others and some people, more elderly, do have a little type of remote control to wear around their neck, to hit the button if they are alone and need help. It is a nice addition to feeling safer when one is alone a lot and when pushed, it is hooked up to your burglar alarm system that calls emergency help to aid you. Whoever in those days had a home burglar system?

There is nothing wrong about being safe especially at our senior ages. There is a saying, that says “it is time to look back at the good old days and times; but we must look ahead to live our dreams for the now days.” Yes, I think that a good advice statement and if a remote control piece of equipment costing about two dollars a month added to a burglar alarm invoice,  is available, be safe and add it to your budget. It could save your life and even if you never use it, it is there, like insurance and it insures you a safe time. Be safe, it is important and necessary and we can look forward now, not back, to live our dreams happily.