Tears Can Be Words From The Heart

All of you who read my columns, know that I advocate and often preach how nice, kind, caring and compassionate we should be to everyone. Most of the time, I relate this to us seasoned and older dancers, that we should encourage the new and younger dancer to be patient because they will love to dance. I tell the older(not meaning in age older) but meaning people who have danced for a long period of time to go out of their way to inspire the new dancer and kind of be a mentor in dance to the newer student or social dancer.

When my son was in the 6th grade, the teacher, Mr. Wilson said to him one day “Jeffrey, you are the politest boy in the whole 6th grade classes.” Jeffrey replied “thank you Mr.Wilson.” Mr. Wilson said “that is what I mean.”

I had a confrontation in a dentist office recently, where I was told that I must say please and thank you when requesting a cup of water which I needed since I was having major dental work done. I usually have a different dental assistant assisting the dentist; she was not there with me that day. This one did not like that I kept asking for two cups, one to rinse with and one to spit it out in. The reason being, at this senior age, it is difficult to lean over and spit out the water in the antiquated sinks still being used in the dental world. These are the same style sinks used when I was a kid over seventy years ago in dental offices. Maybe, out there in the dental world, someone could invent a better and more convenient way for older people to use the sink. The assistant said “push the button. “She meant I should do this myself. In order to do this, I would have to lean sideways to get to the button. I said to the dentist, “Do not give me this person the next time.” He replied that I should be more gracious, not demanding and be more independent.

There is not a more independent senior around than me. Even with aches and pains from arthritis, I manage a home nicely, visit my grandkids in Virginia, keep the bookkeeping going in the home, write articles, think with an active mind and even sometimes I am able to ballroom dance I also get on my stationary bike regardless of aches and pains and do this for 2.5 to 3 miles, 7 days a week.. When I left the dental office all aggravated for my procedure and the follow-up costing over one thousand dollars and having no dental insurance plan; I had to to go the podiatrist for my next appointment. She said how was I and I told her this story. She said “how can anybody be mean to you. You are so nice and polite and caring.” So at least, she is the smart one in this case. Shall I call it case “123456, beloved dentist being un-beloved to patient victim.”

It seems in this today’s world, some people deserve to be treated nicely and others can be harshly admonished for asking for two cups of water to rinse out the gook in their mouth. In this case, I was the customer and he and she were the business givers. If someone walked into a grocery store and was talked to as customer that way, the cashier or clerk would be dismissed. I knew of a young man who worked for a local chain grocery store many years ago and his name was Paul. He happened to be a ballroom dancer and his partner was his sister. They danced like they were Ginger and Fred. He worked as a cashier and everyone liked him. He pushed the food products fast along the scanner and always had a smile and said how are you to the customers. When you got in Paul’s line, he was the most fabulous cashier. One day, he must have not been as quick or smiley at a customer, she reported him and when we came back the next week, everyone asked for Paul. They said he was no longer there. We heard afterward through the grapevine or lettuce line or salad bar line that he had been dismissed for obnoxious or and not caring behavior. It was a dastardly thing they did to him after being there for about fifteen years and this was his main job.

It seems to depend on what side of the fence or chair or checkout line you happen to be in; as to what is said to you by the big shots. In this case, it was the major corporation, in my case, it was the owner of the dental practice who lambasted me, the patient who ‘demanded’ water to rinse her mouth with this high priced procedure and the gook in her mouth probably called residue.

I was told to be gracious and when I was thinking about this afterwards and as to what the podiatrist said to me about being so nice; I thought that perhaps the dental assistant should have said please first to me when she said I did not say please and thank you. She should have said “PLEASE, say please and thank you before asking for water. Thank you.”

It is funny to me as a writer of articles on showing kindness to others in every facet of our lives; that I was placed in this situation and it even is costing me lots of dollars. There is the old saying “practice what you preach.” It would have been nice if I had been the recipient of that saying.

Oh well, there are still many more visits before this procedure is finished. If anyone is at all interested, I will keep you updated as to how I am ‘treated’ for the next visit. Maybe, as the saying goes “tears are words from the heart that can’t be spoken.” Perhaps, I will get water quicker if I say please and then thank you regardless of the inconvenience in my sticky mouth and perhaps the dentist and assistant will be more ‘gracious to an old lady.’ Maybe, they will have tears in their heart for making an old lady in discomfort that day, feel unhappy and be a bit more gracious to her on the forthcoming visits.

At the podiatrist office, mentioned above, the secretary gave me a thank you card for an engagement present I gave her. On it were these words “If there were more people like YOU in the world, there’d be more smiles like mine. Thanks.” She wrote also in her own words “thank you so much and for always being so thoughtful and kind. Love Taryn.”

This was given to me on the same day I was called down for not saying thanks and please. This card was a golden moment in a day of some very hard knocks. Believe me, this was tears from a good heart-Taryn- a person who herself is good hearted, good natured, sweet and she knew one when she sees one-me.