To Be An "Are" Is Better Than Being A Might Have Been Elita Sohmer Clayman

MiltonBerle was known in television’s golden early years from 1948-55, when he hosted and was the star of The Texaco Star Theatre. Every Tuesday night long before we owned a TV, Mom and I walked about seven blocks to Aunt Florence’s house to watch the show along with about thirteen other people from the neighborhood. Aunt Florence was one of the few people we knew then who owned a TV set, black and white, no color then on sets. Every Tuesday night, these friends and we descended on her small row house to sit anywhere there was a seat to watch her set which we thought huge in those days. It was probably about twelve inches and we sat enthralled to watch this comedian do his thing and then he had other acts on too. He was born in 1908 and died in 2002. He would dress up in women’s clothing for some of his varied acts and we all laughed a lot over them. Young and old were there and we had a fun time and we looked forward to Tuesday evenings with great anticipation. Aunt Florence was Mom’s friend, not a real aunt. She liked to host these gatherings and she served tiny little desserts in little paper cups made for picking them up and eating them without a plate. She served coffee and soda and it was a Tuesday night fun filled adventure for Mom and Me.

Milton Berle was a big success with this show and even the commercials were fun with the Texaco dancers and singers performing the commercials. I think everyone stopped on Tuesday nights to watch this show and to talk about it the next day at school or work.

Milton said “I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I’d rather be a has-been than a might have been-by far; for a might have been has never been, but a has-been was once an ARE.”

Very interesting comment and very true for all of us. If we never have tried that thing that we always wanted to achieve, than we never reached or tried to obtain a star. Everyone sometime in their life has wanted to do something so outstanding to become a star of sorts. It does not mean being a movie star, an opera star, a television star; it could be doing something so magnificent for our self, that we become a star unto our self and our mind. We could take college courses and become a doctor, lawyer, CPA, teacher, social worker, a nurse, a banker or any profession we wanted and knew we would enjoy it all our working life. We could become a ball player in baseball or football, a tennis player or even a golf player for fun or for profession. Anything that makes us want to reach for that star can make us shine like a star.

If we never had the time, money or guts to try for this star reaching, then maybe when it is retirement time for us, we will know that we were never “an are”.We have become a could-be in our mind, but not a could-be in reality. Milton was saying he would rather be a has-been who at least tried something he wanted, rather than a might have been who did not even attempt that desired adventure.

I knew I wanted to write a lot and be published in about 1990 when I was in the mid-fifties. I knew it was not too late and I obtained a writing job for Amateur Dancers magazine. In those days, all magazines were in print. There was not an online then. So I wrote for them, once a month, a column for seventeen years until the magazine was bought by someone else. Then I started to write for online publications in about 2005, two years before the AD ceased to operate. I was old by then, seventy-one. Wow, when my parents were that age, I really thought them quite aged. They looked good, but still that was a large number for aging in those days. Now days, people in their seventies and eighties still drive, work, and vacation in faraway places, ballroom dance, play tennis and do about everything there is to still do.

So Milton was right when we said he would rather be an ARE, and still reaching for a STAR.  A has-been is better than a might have been, because a has been was once an ARE. Are is better than a might have been and I agree with him completely. I am glad I was an are in many things in my life and I am not sorry about any I attempted and I know I am glad that I am not a might have been, because I would have lost out on writing, ballroom dancing and all my trips to foreign countries and this country too and most of all, my email friends and fans from all over this country. So to be an ARE is tops with me and not being a might have been is great and if I had been, a might have been, it would have made me not feeling so great at this active adult/senior age.

Are is good in this story and life and might have been is to not have enjoyed what is out there for us and it is our choice to choose. There is a nice little poem I came across that states this are business very succinctly and to the point.

Good morning friends, you have a choice

Continue on your sleep with DREAMS

 Or Wake up and choose your dreams

The choice is yours.

Be an are and not a might have been. Be a could be who is reaching for that star. It is never too late to grasp it and hold it close to you. The choice is yours and the dreams are alive.