Moms Talk Q&A: Foreign Travel for Kids

Moms Talk is a new weekly feature on North Potomac-Darnestown Patch to help local parents share opinions, advice and solutions.

Each week our eight-member Moms Council will discuss a different parenting issue. Join the conversation by weighing in on a topic or asking the expert panel your questions.

On Monday, , author of our weekly column and a member of the Moms Council, wrote about her decision not to send her daughter on a school trip to France in her column, "." Today she poses the question to the rest of the council.

: Am I stifling my daughter's independence by NOT sending her to Europe with her 8th grade class? Shouldn't those be things that she does with us as a family?

: I would be afraid to send my middle school child to a foreign country without myself or my husband being a chaperone. I think there are so many things that could happen that these 13-year-olds wouldn’t have the skills to be able to handle. I would be concerned about sufficient supervision as well. I know there would be teachers there and perhaps parents as well, but for me that just wouldn’t be enough. I have always focused on the safety part in my head but after reading Garine’s article, I now also think of this as a trip that a family would take together. Being half Swiss, I hope to be able to take my family to Switzerland in the future, to show my girls where my dad grew up and see some of the attractions in Switzerland as we were able to do with my dad when I was younger.

: Since our kids are still in preschool, we haven't had to face this sort of issue yet, but I can't imagine ever letting my kids travel internationally without me at that age for many of the reasons you mention. I don't think that it's a question of stifling your daughter's independence; rather, you are reinforcing your family values and may, in fact, foster her independence by teaching her that it is OK not to follow the crowd if it means compromising important principles. She is still young and you are still her parent (and the one who would be footing the bill for the trip), so it is your prerogative to make these decisions. It may not be a popular decision in her eyes (I still remember my parents deciding not to let me go on several school and group trips throughout my childhood and teen years.), but she will respect it one day and may even appreciate it now if you explain your reasons to her and possibly plan out a trip of your own in the future.

: While 8th grade MAY be a bit young (9th grade would be much better) for a trip abroad, I do feel this school trip is a fantastic and economical way to expand your daughter’s horizons. I agree that it would be FAR BETTER if you were able to do this as a family, and if you are able, then you should do just that. However, for many people $2000 x 4(?) for the whole family may not be feasible. The benefits to be gained from this experience will be invaluable in the long run. Caveat: Of course, as my daughter is only in 2nd grade, I am years away from having to address this question in reality. By that time, the paranoid fears will probably take over and I’ll give a resounding NO WAY!

: Eighth-graders are typically 13 years old; I’d be reluctant to let a 13-year-old stay home for the evening alone! I wouldn’t let my 13-year-old sleep at a friend’s house without parental supervision. If I don’t feel comfortable sending him to Germantown for the night, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable sending him across Germany for a week! Call me over protective, but I think 13 is too young for a child to travel overseas with a large group of other children and few adults, unless I am one of the adults. Fortunately, my oldest son is only 7 and I have 6 years to fret about this decision!

: I don't think you are stifling her independence, but she is missing out on a great opportunity and experience. Our middle school is organizing a trip to Italy and Greece for 2012, this is something we cannot do as a family due to work commitments any time in the near or distant future, so I'd be happy to send my eighth-grader — I think it will be an amazing trip. I was 11 years old (6th grade) when I went on my first trip abroad — skiing in Switzerland for 10 days. This was something my family could not afford to do, nor did my parents have any desire to go skiing. I loved every second and skiing became a great passion of mine.