Curse of the Healthy Scalp

I think we've all seen the Troy Polamalu Head and Shoulders commericals or at least somehow recall them from the football season.  You know, the one where he's tossing his hair around all over the place from side to side (he does have some amazing locks that I'm a bit jealous of) while stating the wonders of himself and the shampoo. There's the other one where the balding lineman says: "Troy?  Did you use my Head and Shoulders thickening shampoo?" and Troy replies candidly "No", the lineman asks again, Troy says again "No", while his hair get's more and more voluminous with each reply until finally, the third time he says "Yes..." and kind of looks down.

To view the commercial, click the youtube video link to the right of this article.

They were a pretty big hit for Head and Shoulders, but what happened to Troy?  The seemingly omniscient safety, went from near Pro Bowl lock to barely playing half of the season because of injuries. He's always been injury prone but there was something more this season. Something, maybe fate, maybe karma, OR maybe a curse had taken hold. I know we've all heard of the Madden curse.

For those who have been living under a rock since 1997 (origination of the Madden franchise), the Madden curse basically means that if your favorite athlete hits the front of the new Madden game, he's probably going to have something terribly disastrous destroy his season, much like what happened to Troy this season with Head and Shoulders.  I know, I'm jumping too quickly to conclusions, right?

Maybe I am and maybe it's nothing.  Has anyone heard about all the strife and criticism going around Minneapolis-St. Paul lately surrounding the Twins?  Probably not, because it's the Twins and they play in Minnesota. Sorry Jesse Ventura, it's not exactly New York, L.A. or even Boston. However, I will give them credit for at least attempting to compete with the larger markets by signing Joe Mauer, their homegrown batting champion catcher, to a very Yankees-esque contract, somewhere around 8 years $168 million, who probably has the sweetest swing for a catcher since Mike Piazza.  Remember him?

That's where this takes an interesting turn.  Much like Piazza, Joe Mauer has now somehow developed this reputation for being soft, lazy, and not interested in the team's success only his own.  Why is this?

There was something that caused Joe to miss a few games back in April that somehow got labeled by the media as "chronic bilateral leg weakness."  Joe, his agent, nor the Twins have any idea where it came from.  It didn't come from a press release, that's for certain.  Joe began missing games, during his first month into his aforementioned contract.  He didn't volunteer to play first base (first basemen and perennial All-Star Justin Morneau is out for neck surgery) or even take ground balls at first.  Basically, when a player is signed to that kind of money, instantly more is expected.  It works the same with you at your job.  You get "promoted" or a large salary bump, you have much more responsbility than the average employee.  Your are the franchise player and apparently Joe hasn't quite understood that yet.  But how does this come full circle to Troy? 

Mauer began appearing in his own series of Head and Shoulders commercials around probably spring training.  I can't confirm this but it seems obvious.  Ever since he stepped onto the set for Head and Shoulders, he was destined for failure.  Not only that, but he makes fun of Troy in the newest ad!  (see second youtube clip)  I don't think that this has anything to do with narcissism or other large words involving arrogance.  I think that it's just simply that Head and Shoulders is cursed, as cursed as the Madden franchise.  Did you notice how no one was picked from the NBA?  There might be other reasons for that but I bet NBA stars paid attention to Polamalu's experience last season and refused to take part.

Mauer, still not aware of his standing as the franchise player, anxiously accepted.  Maybe he's not a football fan (he was an all-state qb in high school, though).  Or, maybe it is narcissism.  No, it's something more, it's the curse of the dandruff shampoo.  I know it.  Polamalu and Mauer are the only athletes to appear for Head and Shoulders so the sample size is quite small but you can't argue with the results.  More proof to come.  This franchise curse is still in it's first year.