What are we teaching our daughters?

I work at an afterschool program and the children range from ages 3-11. It is interesting to see how the children interact with each other. I have noticed the heirarchies in the groups and also how some of the boys are able to control the girls. The other day a four year old girl came to ask for a page to color but it was not for her but for the boy sitting at her table. She told me David (name changed) wanted a coloring page. I told her to go back and tell David if he wanted one to come and get it. She went back to the table and he actually sent her back again. I repeated what I initially said and she did not return and he did not come and get the paper. I watch David as he manipulates the girls that sit at his table, but they all seem content to follow his orders and if they don’t he freezes them out of the group. Everyday they all struggle just to sit in his presence, but why? What are we telling our daughters? Probably at the age of 4 we are simply not telling them anything and we are believing that they will simply grow up to be strong confident women, but is that naive on our part? Do we buy a plant and refuse to water it and then act stunned when it dies? I have noticed some of the older girls have decided to play basketball but when the boys criticize them they run to me for affirmation. Whereas some of the boys play worse than they do but the boys seem to reserve their most potent criticism for the girls and sadly the girls seem take the criticism to heart. So what are we doing to our daughters? We are probably expecting too much from them. If we want strong confident girls we are going to have to “water” them at an early age. We have got to tell them at 4 that you are somebody and you were not meant to serve the whims of your peers. You are here on earth to live your authentic best life. God has a purpose for you and this is conversation we need to have early. Adjust the conversation to the age group, but let them know they were meant for great things.