Get Out of the Boat

For those who know me, they know that there are few things that scare me. Bridges scare me! Speaking in public scares me! But generally, I will try anything, with an open mind. This weekend I was called to attend a weekend of spiritual renewal at a camp with about 35 other women. On Thursday evening, I arrived and was the most frightened I have ever been. I was sobbing and shaking, similar to what happens to me when I cross the Bay Bridge and if it hadn't been so dark on that mountain, I probably would have grabbed my suitcase and hiked on out of there! I wasn't sure where that fear was coming from; perhaps it was the unknown; perhaps it was because I was with "strangers" or perhaps it was the fear of what I would learn this weekend, about myself and what God's plans for me are.

At this crossroad in my life, where I am transitioning from being a full time babysitter for grandkids, which I have done for the past eight years, to trying to figure out what is next for me, I pray often for God to direct me, to show me what I am to do next. The problem isn't that God hasn't been answering my prayers, the problem is that I have not been listening. He has been telling me all along, but in fear, I have chosen to answer Him with, "Really God? Do you know who you are talking to?" and I'd continue to pray, hoping to get a different answer. But God is persistant and unwavering. His plans for me have long been mapped out.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (NLT) I know I reference that scripture often in my blogs, but I am more and more learning to trust in those words as I see God's plans unfold.

Fear is a destructive and unproductive emotion. Fear will rob you of joy; it will keep you from receiving the blessings God has for you; and it will leave paralyzed. In the Gospel of Matthew chapter 14, Jesus was praying alone while the disciples waited on the boat. Winds had caused the boat to drift a considerable distance from the shore and Jesus went to them walking on the lake. The disciples where scared to death, thinking He was a ghost and they cried out in fear. Jesus told them, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Peter, still unsure, questioned Jesus. "Lord, if this is you, tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," Jesus said and Peter stepped out of the boat, walked on the water and towards Jesus, but fear took over and he took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink. He cried out, "Lord save me!" Jesus took his hand and caught him saying, "You of little faith, why do you doubt?"

Fear, keeps us in the boat! Very often, God calls us to do things that we are afraid to do. But if we fix our eyes on Him and step out onto the water in faith, we will not sink. His mighty hand is there ready to catch us. I can't avoid bridges; they are everywhere. For now, I can safely hide behind the words of my blog, but if God calls me to speak, I will have to trust in Him to not let me sink. Jeremiah 17:7 "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust IS the Lord."

Over and over again this past weekend, God gently (and sometimes not so gently) revealed to me what He wants me to do next and I am scared! But, I will cast my anxiety on Him, 1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on Jesus because He cares for you." I've decided, I'm getting out of the boat, how about you?

Until next time, I got one leg over the side!
God Bless,
Cat