Easy Days Before Us Now

Elita is publishing her thoughts on life as a senior. When I was in high school I wanted to be a senior. When I went back to college at age 33 with a husband, two kids age 3 and 7, I could hardly wait to get that college degree at that 'late age’. The teens in my college class, the first one Psychology 101 thought me an old lady at 33.5 years of age.

However, I was the only one in the whole class who came to college and who studied and got all A's at that 'advanced' age.

Being a senior now at age 79 is hard sometimes and other times it is fun. People open the doors for you in office buildings; hold the elevator door open for you because you are walking a bit slower. People are more polite on the phone when you are buying something via the phone if they know you are a senior.

However senior in the beginning meant over 65. Now people are being called seniors at age 55 because AARP sends you notices to join at 50-55. I know of a doctor of mine who was 'insulted' when at age 50 he got the invitation to join AARP.

My little almost eight year old grandson # 3 (I have 3 grandsons and one granddaughter) said to me on the phone the other night,

"Grammie how are your legs feeling? I missed seeing you last Sunday when you did not come to visit me." He lives out of state and we did not go last week due to my aching knees.

Ethan does not look at his grandfather Jerry and me Grammie Elita as if we are old. He has the other set of grandparents who are Asian and he does not look at them as being different either. So to kids of this age, we are just people, we are their grandparents and he knows that his daddy (my son) is his daddy and his daddy is my “my little boy” and will always be that. This is how parents feel about their own children, even if their children have their own children now.

When I had a new kitchen floor installed a few years ago, one of the workers noticed that between my bedroom floors adjoining a tile foyer, the contractor had installed metal strips which I thought at the time was the proper item to be put there.

He saw the metal strips between a ceramic tile foyer and the adjoining bedrooms areas. He said to me “these are dangerous, for you and Mr. Jerry” (he calls him that out of respect, me he is smart enough to call Gorgeous). He said when he came back, he would install wooden strips so we would not fall over the metal strips and he worked for the same company that had installed metal ones many years before.

So the way we look at ourselves and our lives is designated by how we feel about ourselves. When I was heavier in weight, I still knew it was ME just with some added padding. When I lost weight it was still ME in a slimmer outfit of skin and bones.

It was still me, daughter of my late parents, sister of my late brother, wife of my husband for 53 years, dance partner of my ballroom dance teachers, aunt to my niece and nephews, mother of my son and daughter, mother-in-law to my children's spouses, grandmother of three grandsons and one granddaughter, friend to my friends, great aunt to my two great nephews and one great niece and their respective spouses and last but not least, I became a great, great aunty-two greats,to a great, great nephew  on September 09. Believe me, that is a great, great accomplishment.

So perceive yourself as being a great, great person whether you are a bit heavy, a bit balding, and a bit sad sometimes, a bit not liking your hair some days, not liking your job if still working and not liking lots of things. Think of yourself as wonderful. I went out with a young man when I was about 22 and his brother had just written and produced a play on Broadway called Mr. Wonderful. This is a good title to keep in your thoughts about yourself, Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Wonderful at all times.

My friend Robert Jacob Meyer who was the editor-in-chief of a magazine called

Amateur Dancers and I wrote for the magazine for seventeen years told me recently in an email "E (that is me) don’t ever let your creative soul be repressed or intimidated." This is a good thought for all of us seniors; do not let our soul be repressed or intimidated because we are seniors. We are still Golden Seniors and we shall be that way forever. In fact, platinum is better than gold, we can call ourselves Platinum Plus Seniors. We are still vigorous, full of vim, vitality and vision. Vision to see before us elegant, educated and expressive elders. Believe in yourself. My fine, new orthopedic doctor Dr. Daniel J. Valaik of Johns Hopkins said in a write-up on his webpage “ The only easy day was yesterday.” He was a Navy Seal for six years.

This is true because when we look back at events in our lives, we often think how wonderful they were and we do not always look at the stresses we had then and the hard times. We look back and see delightful times and yes, they were probably that often; but there are Kulanu times before us too. Kulanu means all of us together. We should always be together, not only during holiday times like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Rosh Hashana, Easter, Passover, birthdays, anniversaries etc.

We should always stand together as united into one and realize that many easy and happy days are still coming for us and we shall be here to enjoy them with joy and peace.