Please Always Say Please And Thank You

All of you who read my columns, know that I advocate and often preach how nice, kind, caring and compassionate we should be to everyone. Most of the time, I relate this to us seasoned and older dancers, that we should encourage the new and younger dancer to be patient because they will love to dance. I tell the older(not meaning in age older) but meaning people who have danced for a long period of time to go out of their way to inspire the new dancer and kind of be a mentor in dance to the newer student or social dancer.

When my son was in the 6th grade, the teacher, Mr. Wilson said to him one day “Jeffrey, you are the politest boy in the whole 6th grade classes.” Jeffrey replied “thank you Mr.Wilson.” Mr. Wilson said “that is what I mean.”

I had a confrontation in a dentist office last year, where I was told that I must say please and thank you when requesting a cup of water which I needed since I was having major dental work done. I usually have a different dental assistant assisting the dentist; she was not there with me that day. This one did not like that I kept asking for two cups, one to rinse with and one to spit it out in. The reason being, at this senior age, it is difficult to lean over and spit out the water in the antiquated sinks still being used in the dental world. These are the same style sinks used when I was a kid over seventy years ago in dental offices. Maybe, out there in the dental world, someone could invent a better and more convenient way for older people to use the sink. The assistant said nastily  “push the button.”   She meant I should do this myself. In order to do this, I would have to lean sideways to get to the button. I said to the dentist, “Do not give me this person the next time.” He replied that I should be more gracious, not demanding and to be more independent. I was surprised at him because he was usually quite kind to me, always with a smile and a joke. Perhaps he was having a bad day, but it saddened me.

There is not a more independent senior around than me. Even with aches and pains from arthritis, I manage a home nicely, visit my grandkids in Virginia, keep the bookkeeping going in the home, write articles, and think with an active mind and even sometimes I am able to ballroom dance. I also get on my stationary bike regardless of aches and pains and do this for 2.5 miles and even sometimes I am able to ballroom dance.  It seems in today’s world, some people deserve to be treated nicely and others can be harshly admonished for asking for two cups of water to rinse out the gook in their mouth.  I happened to have a podiatrist appointment that afternoon and the doctor noticed I was upset. She asked why and I told her and she said “how could anyone be snippy to you. You are the kindest and dearest patient we have.”

 I was the customer and he and she were the business givers. If someone walked into a grocery store and was talked to as customer that way, the cashier or clerk would be dismissed. I knew of a young man who worked for a local chain grocery store many years ago and his name was Paul. He happened to be a ballroom dancer and his partner was his sister. They danced like they were Ginger and Fred. He worked as a cashier and everyone liked him. He pushed the food products fast along the scanner and he always had a smile and said how are you to the customers. When you got in Paul’s line, he was the most fabulous cashier. One day, he must have not been as quick or smiley at a customer, she reported him and when we came back the next week, everyone asked for Paul. They said he was no longer there. We heard afterward through the grapevine or lettuce line or salad bar line that he had been dismissed for being obnoxious and not caring behavior. It was a dastardly thing they did to him after being there for about fifteen years and this was his main job.

It seems to depend on what side of the fence or chair or checkout line you happen to be in; as to what is said to you by the big shots. In this case, it was the major corporation, in my case, it was the owner of the dental practice to the patient who “demanded” water to rinse her mouth with this high priced procedure and to rid the gook in her mouth probably called residue.

I was told to be gracious and when I was thinking about this afterwards and as to what the podiatrist said to me about being so nice; I thought that perhaps the dental assistant should have said please first to me when she said I did not say please and thank you. She should have said “PLEASE, say please and thank you before asking for water. Thank you.”

It is interesting the two stories melding together. I was dismissed as rude because I did not ask the dental assistant using the word please; I did not hear her asking me anything with please in the beginning. Paul dismissed when he was probably the most popular cashier in the store and he gets his walking papers for doing absolutely nothing to warrant a dismissal.

It is funny to me as a writer of articles on showing kindness to others in every facet of our lives; that I was placed in this situation and it even cost me lots of dollars. There is the old saying “practice what you preach.” It would have been nice if I had been the recipient of that saying.

So Please continue to read my articles/stories and Thank you for doing so. When I came back the next week for the continuance of the work to be done, nasty assistant was nowhere to be seen, regular assistant was there to stand by my side and dentist was extra sweet and kind. Maybe he thought it all out over the weekend and he realized that he was sorry for taking the side of his nasty employee.

Who knows what happened after I left that afternoon?  Perhaps Paul came in to have his teeth worked on and he was recognized by nasty assistant and she was very polite to him to make up for my incident.

Maybe the tooth fairy visited the office in the late part of the day and she told nasty assistant to calm down and to treat the patients with kindness and respect and if she did that, she would find a gift under her pillow the next morning.