We Are Never Apart, They Are In Our Heart

"Don’t cry for me in sadness; don't weep for me in sorrow,

 For I will be beside you, as sure as comes tomorrow.

 My body has gone but my spirit lives on, as does my love for you.

 Just as in life. I'll watch over you, I always will be true.

 My blood lives on in my children, how I've watched them grow up with pride.

 I'll live on within them, always by their side.

 I know my jokes weren't always funny and jobs weren't always done.

 Just try and always remember the good times, the days when we had fun.

 Reach out if you need me, for I will always be near.

 Just talk to me, as if I am there, I promise I will hear.

 For I'll live on, within your mind, we'll never be apart,

 As long as you keep my memory, deep within your heart.

 So lift up your hearts, don't be sad, my spirit hasn't gone.

 While you’re still there, so am I, I really will live on.”  The author is unknown.

Part of this was read today on the Young and Restless soap opera. The words were recited by the priest over the character Katherine Chancellor who had been on the show for about forty years. They had to kill her off and make her die because in real life, she did pass on several months ago. No other actress could have substituted for her.  The actor playing the priest today is her real life son, Corbin Bensen who was a regular I believe on a police show many years ago.

They had an urn rather than a coffin. The stage urn contained some ashes from the real urn of the real actress Jeanne Cooper. Her son Corbin brought it to the set and this is interesting.

I do not believe in cremation but this is my personal belief because we feel the person is still there in the ground and coffin. The story line was a lovely thought of Corbin to bring the real ashes to the celebration memorial service of Katherine in the story and Jeanne in real life.

We get use to these actors portraying people who actually become a part of our lives from our daily viewing. People ridicule persons who love soap operas. It is not much different than reading a book; you love the characters too on the pages. In a soap opera that has been running for over forty years, is that they come into our homes five days a week and after a while, even a bad character on the show still becomes a part of our life of TV watching.

I have watched this serial for over forty years since the first day it came on the television. You watch the characters age as you age, you watch them with problems as you may have problems. They become your friends and if you do not like them, they are your enemies.

When we visit the graves of our parents, we feel they are still ‘there’. Others believe not. Whatever makes you comfortable is ok either way.

“Just talk to me, as if I am there, I promise I will hear.

 For I'll live on, within your mind, we'll never be apart.”

On certain holidays, we take time out to say a prayer to our deceased relatives, thanking them for taking care of us if they were our parents and we relive memories with a sibling, if they are gone too. We light a 24 hour memory candle on holidays for them and also for the actual day date they left.

I am the only member of our little four family. I try to tell my children incidents of happiness and fun that I participated in with my parents and sibling. I have a great memory and I remember small things that were tiny then, but when you recollect them now, they rise in meaning and love.

It is interesting and fascinating to recall these times that may have even bored you at the time it was happening and now when reliving them; they become so magnificent and interesting. They may have been minimal and insignificant at the time; when retelling the story, somehow they rise up in the new version, even if the facts are correct and accurate.

So we can still talk to someone who is gone.  When each of my grandchildren was born, each time I spoke to Mom first because she passed on second and second to Dad. My Mom knew my children, her grandchildren. My Dad knew of only my first child and for my second child, I came to the hospital to tell him I was expecting and he passed on a few weeks later. Then Dad did ‘know’ my son.  As is our custom, we name our children after people we loved. So in this case my son is named after his grandfather he never knew. This means that the person will rest in peace if someone is named for them.

So our relatives are living on in this child and we live on with their still constant love. This is for the memory deep in our heart.

My mother’s sister passed away on September 16th and the next day their brother’s wife had a baby girl and she was immediately named after my aunt, except the second name was given of a relative who lived a long life and my aunt was only thirty-eight. This second name of a long living person was to insure the baby lived long too.

So names are important as a sign of what we are and what we become; they also symbolize the love of an older person and for the love of the new life.