White Knuckle Parenting: Top Ten Lessons I Learned at Hersheypark

When I was a kid, my favorite thing to do in the summer was go to the amusement park near my house. My sister and I would go on all the roller coasters and the spinning rides. We would plan our ride agenda for the day and work our way from one end of the park to the other, then go back. We'd ride the bumper cars, then run around to the entrance and ride them again, over and over. It wasn't a huge amusement park, nor was it the fanciest, but we loved it. I still have wonderful memories of going there.

That's why when I was trying to think of a quick, fun place to take my kids over Memorial Day, the idea I kept coming up with was Hersheypark. My kids had never been to an amusement park before and seeing as how they are now between 8 and 11 years old, it seemed like it was time.

I had no idea how the trip was going to go. I figured that it would be either spectacularly good or spectacularly bad. It ended up being a little bit of both. Here are my top ten lessons learned:

1. Bumper cars are still the best ride. They might even be more fun when you are an adult and you get to spend your time trying to crash into your kids. Everyone loves bumper cars.

2. Even if you're a roller coaster person, riding the tamest ride with your kids will give you an enormous thrill.

3. Always check the track layout before you agree to take your small child on a roller coaster. My daredevil middle son saw one tiny part of the Great Bear roller coaster and asked to go on it. What is the worst that could happen, I thought? Two loops, a corkscrew, and one slightly green kid later, I decided that I would check the attraction notes first next time.

4. When it is 60 degrees and windy, the water ride (log ride? hydroflume?) seems like less of a good idea than on a 90-degree day in mid-July. That said, it might be even better because, guess what? No line!

5. Remember when you were a kid and your parents refused to buy you hamburgers and fries at the amusement park and instead forced you to eat squished peanut butter and jam sandwiches brought from home? Once you are an adult, you will understand why. Not only did I pay a billion dollars for my lunchtime calzone, but it was the worst food I have ever eaten in my life. I would have paid a lot of money for a flat PB&J at that point. My kids ate salted pretzels and cotton candy for lunch. It was a good choice.

6. You will never find any ride that all of your children want to go on. (Except the bumper cars.) Either some of them will be too tall or too short or too scared or too bored. There were only three rides that all three of my kids agreed to go on—and one of them I was too scared to board.

7. If one of your children is nervous about roller coasters and you are trying to encourage him to try one because you think he'll like it, so you pick the mildest one, but then can't find it so you just decide to put him on the super fun, but scarier old-school wooden coaster instead? He will hate you for the rest of his life.

8. The Wild Mouse ride—you know, the one that goes back and forth at the top, leading you to believe you are going to plunge to your death?—is exactly as terrifying as you remember it from your youth. The child who forced you to go on it with him (the kiddo from #3) will try to make you go on it for a second time almost immediately. You will refuse.

9. The moment your kids decide that they are done and want to go home immediately will be the moment they are the farthest away from the parking lot that is possible.

10. Each child will find his own way to enjoy an amusement park, and it is important to honor each of them. Whether your kid decides he loves roller coasters, tamer rides, or even just playing skee-ball in the arcade, whatever gives him joy is the thing he should do.

Bonus lesson: You will spend approximately one billion dollars during your weekend at Hersheypark.

This weekend trip to Hershey was a big learning experience for me in terms of what my kids can handle and how to introduce them to it. It will be a while before we head back, but I know that next time we do, I will remember these lessons (and the many more that I learned) and be able to give my kids an even better experience. Because that's maybe the best thing about parenting—you never stop learning and you almost always get an opportunity to do it better the next time.

Jean, a.k.a. Stimey, writes a personal blog at Stimeyland. You can find her on Twitter as @Stimey and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/Stimeyland.