Bullying of Special Needs Children-So Wrong!

As I was driving home a few days ago, I was thinking of the foster children at home and also the others that have come and gone. I was thinking of their needs, and the fact that they all need homes and families to love them.

While driving I was listening to WBZ 1030am and suddenly I hear this very disturbing news. For years we have all heard about bullying of children in the schools; which itself is a sad situation, but then I  heard this news broadcast about special needs children being bullied in the schools.

 I was so saddened, angered and disturbed all at the same time. Special needs children really cannot defend themselves! They did not ask to be this way! And, most important of all, they have a tough enough life trying to cope with or overcome their disabilities.

We have all gone to school, and most of us have one time or another probably seen the bullying that goes on. As we have heard and read so much about it in the news lately, it seems that in the present it is worse than ever now. So to now think of that happening to disabled children! I think of Micky, Justin and all these other children that I have had in my Attleboro home.  I think of how that would affect them, on top of the struggles they already have. When Justin first began going to the I had mixed feelings about him being in a classroom with children that have no special needs or disabilities.

I disagreed because I thought the teacher could not give the attention to the special needs children if they are teaching other students; and vice versa, if they are tending to the special needs children how can then teach the children without needs?  

I also disagreed because I thought that it was not fair to the teachers to have to take on the challenge.  I had a whole list of pros and cons, but after taking Justin toand other public areas, I began to see how other children did not want to play with him.  It was then that  I  realized that: yes, children should be going to school together. At least this way they get to learn what it is like for the special needs children. If they play with them and learn that they are also children instead of not being allowed to play with them, then the chances of fearing special needs children in the future will be less.

I have learned a lot in my experience as a parent of 36 years, an uncle of 40 years, Brenda having a day-care for 27 years, and now being a foster parent. A  few things that I have learned is, no matter how mean a child (or any person ) wants to be, whether it is to become part of a group or just to show off, everyone has some sort of love in them and would like the opportunity to show it.

When it comes to the needy, children tend to want to help and show love even more. I find that when a child feels they are needed, helping, and also are doing good for a situation they tend to want to do it even more.

I only hope that we all not just teach our own children to help everyone, but especially to help those that cannot help themselves.

Let’s all reach out and help ALL children so that someday these children will help each other.

Back to School

Back to school on Monday! Not sure who is more excited about this, Brenda and I, or Justin.  He really does not know one day from the next, but we do keep on talking about going back to school with him, and whenever we mention it he gets so excited.

For us, the excitement comes not from the fact that will not have to care for him while he is in school, it comes from the thought of him being in a place where he has friends and other things to do during the day. It is really sad to watch him sitting around bored so much of the time. He cannot tell us what he wants to do, and so many of the things we try to do with him he lets us know in his own way that he does not want to be doing them.

Question of the Week

The big question of the week is: “What happened to Justin’s curls?” Even our granddaughter Hailey in her cute little two-year-old voice walked in the other day and asked “Whas happening to Jus hair?”

Rather than struggle in a barber's seat with him, I have been cutting his hair since he came to live with us. This time, however, Justin decided that he wanted to keep watching the trimmers as I was cutting. Each time I got him to sit still he would turn to watch as I was about to cut another area, so now, a little shorter here and there, another move, another cut, a little shorter. Well the haircut was finally complete, just a little shorter than expected.

Sadness seeps in

It is going to be one sad day not only for us, but for Hailey on the day that Justin leaves us. Yes, we will be sad but at least we have an understanding of what is going on. Unfortunately, for her, she will not know why this is happening and she will be heartbroken. She is like Justin’s little protector and provider. Actually even though the grandchildren are young, each time any of them come here and do not see Justin as soon as they walk through the door, they ask where he is or go search for him. Mikayla our oldest granddaughter was here the other day and was asking Brenda  about the newest foster child that we have here. She was asking how long we will have this child. Brenda mentioned that soon the child’s mommy and daddy will be here and that is when she asked if Justin will always be with us.

We didn't want to lie to Mikayla so Brenda told her that someday he will be going to another family. Mikayla began to cry and said she does not want him to ever leave us. 

Neither do we, but we enjoy the time we do have with him like Easter.

Justin had a nice Easter. At first he seemed very confused by the fact that when he woke up in the morning he was presented with an Easter basket full of goodies for him, but after the confusion wore off he got the point that the basket was his and at that point he just wanted to tear it apart.

It was fun to have all the grandchildren at our Attleboro home and see him smile and get excited watching them play. The sad part of the day, however, was that Justin could not go out and hunt for eggs with all the other kids. It would have made the day complete to have him walking through the yard hunting and playing with all of the other children. But, Hailey made sure that Justin got everything that belonged to him, or at least she wanted it to belong to him.