Practicing Self Acceptance

We are our biggest critic. We slaughter our self-esteem every day with negative thoughts about unmet expectations and disapointments. We look amongst our friends and acquaintances and wonder why they seem to have it so good, while we continue to struggle. We make assumptions about others that are very one dimensional, basing our conclusions on the surface information that we have access to. We convince ourselves of the truth about them, and then determine how their truth reflects on us. We compare. We size up who we believe we are, who we believe they are, and then determine who the winner is.

The problem is that there is no winner when we compare ourselves to others. There is no winner when we make judgements based on assumptions, and form conclusions based on one dimensional, limited information about someone else.  We are a competitive society. Everyone is striving to be better than everyone else, and while there is some benefit to friendly competition, judging ourselves based on others successes can only lead to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.

What would it look like if we practiced self-acceptance? What would it feel like if we accepted our abilities today, right now, in this moment?

Imagine your mind being free to comfortably think and wonder without that critical voice in your head. Imagine your body being able to feel content in its skin without being judged. This is self-acceptance.

It is completely opposite of our competitive nature. It requires tuning out and turning off that critical voice in your head; the one that says you are not good enough, haven't done enough, don't deserve it, and can't do it. Picture in your mind's eye having a volume control switch that you have control of. 

Start by noticing that critical voice when it is loud. Notice how your body reacts to it, and the fall out that happens to your self esteem when you hear it. Notice the tightening of muscles, the clenching of the jaw, the headache, the depressed mood, the exhaustion, the sense of hopelessness.

Turn down the volume. Picture that volume control switch in your mind and simply turn down the volume. Better yet, hit the mute button. Distract your mind with positive thoughts instead that embrace you and all of your abilities. Once the negative thoughts are no longer loud, turn back up the volume and listen to the positive thoughts instead.

Practicing acceptance is about learning a new behavior. Its becoming in tune with your critical mind and not allowing that voice to be heard. Its turning up the volume switch in your mind's eye with positive thinking and drowning out the comparisons of yourself to others. 

Use this visualization of the volume control switch in you mind's eye anytime you are feeling negative about yourself. Remember that you are in complete control of your self-esteem, and having access to this control switch is a lot of power in your hands.  You can give over the control to society and those around you by constantly comparing yourself to others and tearing yourself down, or you can use your power to build yourself up and embrace who you are.  What will you choose to do with your power?

Tammy Greene is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with a private practice in downtown Woburn.  she is currently accepting new clients and suggestions for blog topics.  Feel free to write her at asktammyanything@gmail.com to make suggestions, or visit her website at www.tgperspectives.com