Freelance Retort: Minding My Bees and Cues

I have an understanding with bees.

I don’t bother them and they don’t bother me.

Simple.

So if a bee buzzes my head while I’m sitting on the back porch, sipping coffee, typing out some nonsense or another, you can pretty well rest assured that I won’t start whirling my arms around like an out of control windmill, making sounds that resemble a person who has just discovered his in-laws are, in fact, a nest of blood sucking vampires…even though he might have suspected for some time.

Just sayin…. 

No, the bees just flitter by…zip here, zip there…and sometimes take a gander at my Choc full O’ Nuts before zipping off on their merry bee way.

 I mean unless they see what I’m working on and then, well, you know…everybody’s got an opinion.

“Bees…you’re writing about us today?”

“Well, yeah…you know, whatever pops into my head on any given day.”

“And we popped into your head, today…interesting.”

“Well, you kind of buzzed by my head, and that’s what gave me the idea…more or less?

“More or less?”

“Uhm…yeah…more or less.”

Again, like I said, I don’t have a problem with bees...for the most part...but now there were about four of them hovering around my face, gawking at  my laptop, and, to be honest, I wasn’t quite sure what the reaction was gonna be, because, you know…everyone thinks it’s funny until it’s about them.

“So, what exactly are you saying about us...I hope it’s not that whole cross pollination thing again?”

“What…no…not at all…that’s none of my business.  I mean who am I to judge, who or what or even how you choose to pollinate.”

“You’re darn right, that’s none of your business…you don’t see any of us going around making comments about—“

“Okay, okay, okay...I get it…nothing personal…relax.”

The lead bee, the chatty one, had now positioned himself directly on top of my display and was staring me down, eye to eye…or eye to eye to eye to eye …or whatever all those things they have on their heads are. And if I didn’t know better, I would have thought he was….

For the rest of the story, or to just kill a couple of more minutes while you're waiting for your bee swatter to arrive, please Click Here....

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