I see. . .

Vision seems by far the most central of all of our senses, not only the sight of our eyes, but also the way we “see” in our minds and imaginations. To envision something or someone, to capture an idea clearly so that we respond, “Oh, I see,” is to actively be looking within and without. Our vision is unique to each of us and in large measure what we see and how we understand and describe it is as unique as we are. Nowhere is that more evident than in how we see ourselves and in how others see us. These two perspectives rarely match up!

In political campaigns, candidates seek to present themselves to the voting public in a favorable light. At times, we see what the candidates want us to see, and sometimes we don’t.

The media and the campaign process itself seek to portray the image of a candidate that the pollsters discern we want to see. Oftentimes that makes it difficult for a voter to see clearly who the person behind the image really is!

In our own lives sometimes we can adopt the posture of really trying to be straightforward: “What you see is what you get”. An effort at such openness and honesty is admirable in all ways. And yet even with this effort, the person I present myself to be and believe myself to be may not be all that accurate. By and large I believe we all suffer from a huge deficit of self-knowledge and further, self-acceptance.

And to finish out the self-knowledge deficit, I suggest that one of the most difficult perspectives for us to know and to accept is how God sees us. Most of the time we believe God sees us as we see ourselves and that is a pretty cloudy and inaccurate picture. Furthermore it is wrong. God’s vision is excellent and there is simply nothing God does not see. In a wonderful line from the first reading for this Sunday, in the first book of the Prophet Samuel, we read: “Not as man sees does God see, because man sees the appearance but God looks into the heart”.

I have come to believe that most people are pretty hard on themselves. And further, they are very hard on judging others. Even when we appear to be “easy” on ourselves, that can sometimes be a façade as well, for we seek to present ourselves in a most positive way. But we don’t often believe that to be true. In some respects our Catholic upbringing has not helped us a lot in self-knowledge and self-respect. Historically, sin and guilt, unworthiness and impurity have been placed in the way of our true self-acceptance.

This may all appear to be a bit of psycho-babble that wishes to diminish the importance of sin, guilt, and all that. It is not. Rather it is an accurate attack of a greater evil—distorting the vision of God. Each of us is the work of God’s hand, completely unique and a work of art—beautiful and amazing. That we sin and err simply does NOT change God’s vision of us: we are God’s and loved beyond measure by this God. We are saved by His Son, Jesus, and sanctified by His Spirit.

An accurate vision of who I am must begin with a fundamental truth, unchangeable and enduring: I am God’s child, beloved and precious in God’s eye. Living in and out of that truth is freeing, comforting and challenging. Such a vision also impels me in Lent and always to see how I can live more and more completely who I really am and see myself to be.

Fr. James Ronan

Pastor, St. Mary-St. Catherine of Siena

jronan@stmarystcatherine.org