Bullying Teens Need More than Probation

Four teenagers from Hadley, MA were sentenced this week in Franklin-Hampshire Juvenile Court for their role in the suicide of 15 year-old Phoebe Prince in January, 2010. 

Prince, killed herself at her family’s South Hadley home after being bullied by other students at the town’s high school. The case made international headlines and helped spark a national debate on the problem of school bullying.

Phoebe's mother, Anne O'Brien, made her first public statements at the sentencing hearing.

"Phoebe soldiered on, struggling to get through the day, hoping the next one to be better," she said. “Phoebe tried to be strong, but sometimes all people want to do is break you.”

Imagine having to make those statements about your own child. Really, just imagine.

And the sentencing? Probation and community service.  REALLY?

These four students and anyone else from Phoebe's high school that played a role in her torture should have to visit every middle school and high school in Massachusetts and talk about why Phoebe isn't alive today. That's right. Every single school. If it takes three years, so be it. Those are three years that Phoebe will never see.

Alfred Chamberland, a defense attorney for one of the accused, actually said that the original  charges were too harsh. Saying that the current plea of criminal harassment and civil rights violation "an acknowledgment by the Northwestern district attorney’s office that these matters were overcharged and that the former administration brought felony indictments in cases which did not call for such." He added,"By doing so, the Commonwealth unnecessarily exposed my client and the other juveniles in this case to unfair and harsh national and international media scrutiny.”  Sympathy? Not a chance.

If any good can come from this case, its the public awareness that bullying occurs everywhere and it takes teachers, administrators, parents, and students to be vigilant in stopping bullying.

Due to a change in Massachusetts law, all school districts must have a Bullying Prevention and Intervention Plan in place.  There is one in place at Hamilton-Wenham Regional High School, and every parent in the district should sit with their students and read the entire document.  The document can be found at the schools Web site (http://hwrhs.hwschools.net/students). 

Let me give you a sneak peek.

Bullying, as defined, is the repeated use by one or more students of a written, verbal, or electronic expression or a physical act or gesture or any combination thereof, directed at a target that:

• causes physical or emotional harm to the target or damage to the target's property;

• places the target in reasonable fear of harm to himself or herself or of damage to his or her property;

• creates a hostile environment at school for the target;

• infringes on the rights of the target at school; or

• materially and substantially disrupts the education process or the orderly operation of a school.

Another excellent source for information on bullying is http://www.stopbullying.gov/.  There you will find sections for kids, teens, young adults, parents and teachers. It will tell you how to recognize the signs of bullying and how to get help if your child is being bullied or being the bully.  Other sources can be found at:

http://www.ncvc.org/tvp/AGP.Net/Components/DocumentViewer/Download.aspxnz?DocumentID=43492

http://urbanext.illinois.edu/conflict/

http://www.safeyouth.gov/Pages/Home.aspx

http://store.samhsa.gov/shin/content/SMA08-4321/SMA08-4321.pdf

There are many warning signs that could indicate that someone is involved in bullying, either by bullying others or by being bullied.  However, these warning signs may indicate other issues or problems, as well. 

Being Bullied

• Comes home with damaged or missing clothing or other belongings
• Reports losing items such as books, electronics, clothing, or jewelry
• Has unexplained injuries
• Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or feeling sick
• Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams
• Has changes in eating habits
• Hurts themselves
• Are very hungry after school from not eating their lunch
• Runs away from home
• Loses interest in visiting or talking with friends
• Is afraid of going to school or other activities with peers
• Loses interest in school work or begins to do poorly in school
• Appears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed when they come home
• Talks about suicide
• Feels helpless
• Often feels like they are not good enough
• Blames themselves for their problems
• Suddenly has fewer friends
• Avoids certain places
• Acts differently than usual

Bullying Others

• Becomes violent with others
• Gets into physical or verbal  fights with others
• Gets sent to the principal’s office or detention a lot
• Has extra money or new belongings that cannot be explained
• Is quick to blame others
• Will not accept responsibility for their actions
• Has friends who bully others
• Needs to win or be best at everything

If you see these sign in your children, it's time to talk. Before you run out of time.