Twas An Hour Before Closing...

T’was an hour before closing, and the office was tense,
The last closing of the year was about to commence.

With the economy a mess and mortgage rules tight,
Who would believe there’d be a closing tonight?

Expenses were up, financials in the red,
But visions of commissions danced in the agent’s head.

The loan was approved by the lender’s good grace,
Although everyone knew it was a borderline case.

The buyers had divorced and remarried again,
Then divorced once more and now were just friends.

The loan package complete, to the attorney it was carried,
With instructions to close before the buyers remarried.

The title policy was ordered and when it arrived,
There were judgments and liens… how could this loan survive?

But the title was cleared and the closing was set,
The lender’s requirements had finally been met.

But lo & behold, the buyers were short seventy-four cents!

The broker gave a quarter, the attorney a dime,
And the sellers held a mortgage for the other thirty nine.

With all this settled and the closing at hand,
Everyone wondered, “What else will the lender demand?”

When all of a sudden, the phone rang with a clatter,
The broker sprang from his chair to see what was the matter.

He answered the phone and all could tell by his groan,
T’was the lender on the other end of the phone.

Everyone listened as he sputtered and coughed,
They knew in a flash that the closing was off.

The attorneys and agents were scurrying around,
And the buyers and sellers, they just all broke down.

Then more rapid than eagles the attorney’s epithets came,
He screamed and shouted and called them by name:

Now buyers, now sellers, both women and men,
Now brokers, now lawyers, now lenders and friends.

The closing is off, what more can I say
Than ‘Happy Holidays’ to all… and to all a good day!