Tips for Overwhelmed Kindergarten Parents

This week, the mother of a kindergartener shared that after the first few days of school she is overwhelmed by the number of flyers, emails and invitations to get involved in her daughter’s new school. There are ice cream socials, welcome coffees, requests for story readers, library volunteers, room parents and art helpers. No doubt the school intended this flood of information to be welcoming, but this working mom felt unsure and overwhelmed. How many of these things was she expected to attend? Was her daughter going to suffer because her work schedule would not permit weekly trips to the classroom?

Schools that welcome parents in are wonderful places. The mark of an excellent school is one that encourages parental participation and provides numerous chances and options for parents to get involved. New parents should remember, however, that although excellent schools provide lots of opportunities, volunteering is, well…voluntary.

As you consider volunteering in your child’s school this year:

· Let go of the guilt. Remember that your child’s teacher is likely to be a parent as well and so are the principal and other staff members. They know that you have other responsibilities at home, with other children, or at work. They understand that you can’t be everywhere all the time. Though it might feel like it at times, no one expects you to attend ALL of the events offered to families.

· Be Proactive. If getting into school during the school day is going to pose a scheduling challenge for you, contact the teacher in the first month of school and ask to be informed about what events this year are really the biggies—the essentials. For one mom, the teacher let her know that Mother’s Day Tea would be in the spring and that each child would be inviting one guest. This was an important event and knowing it in advance let this working mom schedule the time off so she and her daughter could enjoy and treasure this special day.

· Honor yourself. Be honest and realistic. If one of the opportunities sounds appealing, then by all means seek it out. If the welcome coffee with other new mom’s sounds comforting and informative—go! That is what it was meant to be. If the idea of volunteering in the library makes you feel anxious and uncomfortable--honor that. It just isn’t for you. If you want to help but are more of a behind the scenes person, never fear, there will be opportunities for you. A parent group will likely need someone to stuff envelopes or create flyers for upcoming events or the teacher might need someone to gather and organize supplies for an upcoming project. Be particular, and participate in the school in a way that benefits the school and feels fulfilling to you.

· Honor your child. Every child responds differently to having a parent in the classroom. For some it is a wonderful, exciting time. Others appear indifferent and still others feel anxious or stressed to have their two worlds collide. No one knows your child better than you. If you have a sense that having you in the classroom for story hour will be a source of joy, then make plans to do that at some point this year. If you know that your child will likely cling to you and miss out on peer interactions that day, then perhaps story time isn’t a good match at this time.

Remember that kindergarten is a big transition, not just for your child, but for you as well. You are entering the big leagues of school. In time, your child will meet new people, explore new ideas and eventually find her place in the school—and so will you!

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