Anger Management

The topic of discussion in our child classes this month is Anger Management. Like anything else, different people deal with their anger in different ways. Some have very quick tempers and are very impulsive in their reactions while others are more apt to approach the handling of their anger more calmly. I know this seems unfair, but as we know, life is unfair and we are forced to play the hand we are dealt. This can be very frustrating for children and we must make them understand that anger is a natural emotion that needs to be expressed appropriately, like any other emotion.

If your child is the quick tempered type, there are ways to make them more aware of their anger and how they should react to it. First, they should be made aware of the symptoms of becoming angry. Anger makes you breathe faster, it makes your face turn red, your muscles tense up and your heart beats faster. Quick tempered children usually don’t pay any attention to these symptoms, and many times they just react impulsively by lashing out, which could land them in a heap of trouble. If they can be taught to recognize these symptoms before they lash out, perhaps they will be able to restrain themselves and learn to calm down and refocus.
 
Once they learn to recognize the symptoms of their anger, they need to know a few techniques they can use in order to effectuate the appropriate response. First, tell them to take a deep breath and count to ten. This will allow them time to think about what is happening and how their reaction might affect them and any others involved. In the heat of the moment, it is very easy to do or say something they may regret later. Once they have become calm, they need to state in an assertive but non-confrontational way, the reason or reasons that they are angry. This will help them to resolve the issue in a diplomatic way.
 
Another thing that can be done to help your children with anger is encourage them to exercise. Physical activity is a great outlet for their emotions. What better way is there to blow off some steam than going outside to run it off, ride a bike, or even going down to the basement to hit a heavy bag or to their room to punch their pillow? Whatever activity they choose, it is sure to make them feel better about whatever angered them.

Finally, you can have your children practice relaxation skills on a regular basis. In our classes, we always take a few minutes to do some diaphragm breathing, which is what is used in meditation. When this type of practice becomes second nature, children can put their relaxation skills to work as soon as they feel their temper start to escalate and defuse any impulsive reactions.
 
The importance of taking control of a child’s anger issues at a young age cannot be stressed enough. If a child has issues with anger and reacts impulsively on a regular basis, the trouble he finds himself in will be with his teacher, principal and/or parents. If the issues are not dealt with and the child continues this behavior into adulthood, the trouble he finds himself in will be with the police and the justice system. As we all know, this kind of trouble can make for a miserable life.
 
Keep up the good fight!